Pain-stained Journals | Anthology

11 | Living angel

I have never believed in angels up until this time when I met the real one. Demons I had known forever, but I had no idea about their opposites.

Truly a blessing that happened to me. I wish I could photograph every moment that this angel appeared to me. However, the photos wouldn't illustrate the beauty of the moments.

What I am saying is that the angel has fallen upon my feet. She was breathtaking, like the red rose that shine through the botanic garden. I wouldn't be wrong if I said that there is nothing more beautiful.

The angel, of unknown name, spoke kind words to me whilst still laying upon my feet.

"Were you not calling for help?" she asked.

I froze when I heard her words. "How did she know about last night?"

Last night I wanted to end my life. I looked back at last night with sweat on my shoulder. Who is she that she knows it?

I couldn't recall meeting her anywhere. There must be a mistake. I glanced at her; she was now crying. I couldn't ask her why she was crying, I didn't have the courage to. So, I just stared at her back while she whimpered.

Who is she?

Looking back to last night when I held a bottle of alcohol with intense meds on the other hand made me shiver. I was alone then so how did she know.

Some people say that when I want to kill myself the thoughts are your enemies. Thoughts tell you to stop this madness, and that you have a family that cares about you and so on. I wouldn't mind my family since they didn't care about me once in their lives.

Out of all things that night I least expected the phone call that I received. The cry out on the other side of the line made me stop in my tracks. I put the alcohol down and threw the medication into a trash bin.

"Wonderful, in my worst moment somebody needs my help..." I thought then.

The person's voice seemed familiar. Know I knew how I know this woman crying at my feet. It was her voice. When I realized it, I felt suddenly warm spreading through my body.

"I'm your angel"

Angel? Like the opposite of a demon? I couldn't believe it at first but then all those things came to my mind. Just like times when I wanted to put it all to an end. There were multiple moments like that. I call it moments but those are just bad memories of my depressed state.

Demons are the opposite. I knew there was at least one demon in my life, and this was my brother. Ever since I remember he tried to put me down. Out of all things I expected when I was growing up is that my brother would turn against me at some point. When I succeed, I noticed that all he did was bully me. There was madness in his eyes when he beat me up. Every time he was saying: You will never accomplish anything, you are worthless." At those moments I just could not take a steady breath. All of it seemed like a bad dream. It wasn't the only thing that he did that was turning my hopes down. He robbed me out of money, out of love..., out of everything I cared for.

I remember one time my wife cheated on me with my brother. Finding out about it made me want to spit my eyes out. Who could do such a thing? My own blood? The brother that once supported me.

At that moment I spot my brother in my bedroom laying naked near my wife sleeping. I didn't need any more. I knew it all, he was a pure demon and me the wife was unworthy of me.

He took my parents away from me. All he did was turn them against me by saying all those lies about me. I couldn't do more than admit that I can't stand him. So, I moved out for him to stop haunting me. Holding my life responsible from the age of eighteen was a tough thing to do. However, not unmanageable.

The angel that cried at my feet now stood up from the ground, just like the angels do, with all the shine and smile. I couldn't believe what I saw. It was the complete opposite of my ex-wife. Heart-shaped face, full lips, glittering eyes and pink cheeks. I have adored her and for the first time in my life, I fell truly in love.