Agony Aunt

Chapter Forty-Two

"Your email?" I stuttered in disbelief. 

"I'm surprised you didn't figure it was me," his grip on my wrist loosened and with his other hand, Matias slid the bracelet onto my sweaty skin. "I thought you were smart, Alice." 

"All this time, it was you," I focused on my heavy breathing because I couldn't feel my shocked body, my feet were like a deadweight I couldn't lift. "You...you..." I kept repeating in an incomprehensible manner. 

"Yes, we've established it's me," Matias rolled his eyes and his fingers moved from my wrist to my hair where he tucked a stray strand behind my ear. "Now that we've got that cleared up, how about you give me what I want." 

"What's that?" I choked back the fright. 

"You," he smirked. 

"Me?" I felt the tears well up in my eyes, scared of how this was going to all play out with the two of us alone in the apartment. "Why me?" 

"From the time I laid eyes on you that day on campus, I knew I wanted you," my gaze followed his fingers which moved to my cheek and he brushed away the silent, not tear but fear drops with his thumb. "The day I overheard your conversation about you wanting a fuckbuddy," I gasped at the realisation of what he was referencing. 

"All this because you wanted to fuck me?" 

I was way more shocked than I should have been. All the flirting Matias had rained down on me should have made it obvious, and deep down I did know that perhaps he wanted me in a way that I didn't want him. Although I put a halt on that numerous times, apparently that was never going to dim the flame he had for me. Still, it made me feel like this was my fault and that I should have made sure to not tolerate his flirting when I chose to ignore it instead. 

"Yes, I was willing to give you what you wanted, but you chose him instead!" The venom-laced words spat at me like a poison dart, so much so that the shock knocked me off balance. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," regret immediately filled his eyes. "Just tell me, why him?" His voice softened, like a child who had been scolded, Matias turned away from me and raked his fingers through his hair. 

"Because..." my voice was so defeated it was barely audible. "I don't have to explain my decisions," he spun back around so fast with a gaping jaw as though I had just laid a low blow on him. "I also don't have to justify why I don't want to sleep with you." 

"Then why did you lead me on?" His eyebrows furrowed together and his eyes narrowed in anger. 

"I've never led you on!" I took the opportunity of him being distracted by the conversation to step backwards, except the floorboard creaked and the sound reverberated up my spine. 

"That night of the party, you kissed me," I continued to slowly back away in hopes of putting some distance between us, but he easily matched my pace. "You felt how hard you made me that night, yet you still continued to fuck him!" 

"No! That's not what happened!" I screamed. "I was drunk that night, we were playing spin the bottle and having fun, there was nothing more to it than a drunken kiss!" 

"Hmph!" Matias hissed and folded his arms across his chest. "You don't have to lie to me or yourself for that matter. If you wanted to fuck me instead of Nathan you should have ended it with him." 

"I did end it with Nath a few days after the party," I was in an information overload and the tears came in waves, stuck in my throat as I spoke. 

"Oh, that's right, and the only reason you ended it with him was because lover boy came along," he spat. 

"Jacob's my fiance, I love him," I felt my heel hit the corner of the sofa and he took my stumbling as an opportunity to grab my wrist again. 

"I love you too!!" Matias screamed in my face.