Chemistry [BL]

Chapter 12

After this lesson, I stayed sitting in the classroom while everyone left. Like back then when I was about to show him the video for the first time. Mr. Dimitrev looked at me briefly and took a deep breath. I didn't look at him. I heard the squeak of the chair when he stood up and sat next to me. „It must be hard for you," he said softly and crossed one leg over the other like he was totally calm about this.

I shook my head. „I'm not the victim." Then I stared at my fingers and I started playing with them. „Mr. Dimitrev?"

„Yes."

„What would you have done?" I asked. „In my situation. Would you have posted it? After getting beaten up?"

„I don't know," he said. „Probably. If I had no choice."

„You said I should fight back." My voice broke which made me talk in a lower voice. „How am I supposed to..." I stopped briefly when the tears changed my tone and I swallowed the lump in my throat. Took a deep breath. „How can I fight back if they are stronger? If I fight back they'll just hit me harder."

He thought for a second. Then he said, „They may be stronger, but you're smarter."

I smiled when I thought about his reaction to Jacob. He didn't ignore it. He 'fought' back in his own smart kind of way. „I can't just go to the director and call their parents."

„You can tell your parents," he said. „The principal. Or the police."

I shook my head. My voice was just a weak whisper. „I'm scared."

„Don't act with your fear." I looked at him when he lay his hand on my shoulder. I felt so protected in this moment. And like I wasn't alone anymore. „Act with your head." It was a good feeling. My heart was warm and I felt like nothing in this world could hurt me when he was next to me. It was crazy, this school was such a terrifying place for me. But right in that moment no one could've hurt me. No one. Charles could enter this room and spit at me and call me a faggot and I wouldn't be scared. Not next to Mr. Dimitrev.

„We'll get through this, don't you think?" he said then. His hand kind of rubbed my shoulder like a comforting gesture. „We're both strong."

I only nodded. Because all I could say, all that was going on in my head right now was too much. That man, I thought, he's amazing. How can there be a person on earth who never did anything wrong? Okay, obviously he had done something wrong or we wouldn't have been in this situation. But his actions and his words, they were all so perfect. He never said something wrong. He always knew what to say. He never lost his words. Seriously, did he know how perfect he was? I was close to say it out loud. You are awesome, Mr. Dimitrev. I really, really like you. I really do. You're a great person. 

Instead I just continued nodding and said, „Thank you, Mr. Dimitrev."

Mr. Dimitrev patted my shoulder, then stood up with a deep breath, like he just did something amazing. Smiled at me. „I shouldn't skip a meal. Are you gonna join me?"

When I walked after him in the hallways I not only felt protected. And I felt it quite strong since he walked in front of me, like a shield from all that eyes. But it wasn't the only thing I felt. I looked at his back, walking after him like a puppy and I realized, I am so in love.

Shit.