*Zariah POV*
"I can't believe her" I ranted to Kenzie. Princess and Oshin came over here to Kenzie's house to check on me. I decided I couldn't go home in this condition. My family definitely would know something was wrong.
"Well sis calm down" Kenzie rubbed my back
"So y'all fucked like actually fucked for the first time and then broke up" Princess shook her head "I'm so sorry"
"Did you give her a chance to explain" Oshin asked
"What could she say O" Princess looked at her
"Explain why there are drugs and money in her closet" Oshin shrugged "Dez ain't no kingpin or nothing"
"Well, she sells drugs. I don't care the scale of how she does it" I rubbed tears away
"Don't cry beautiful" Princess hugged me tighter
"Flirting with her isn't gonna help" Kenzie rolled her eyes
"Excuse me I'm not flirting at this moment that would hardly be appropriate" Princess shrugged off Kenzie
"Stop it focus on her" Oshin pointed to me
"You are over here being the leading member of the Dez fan club how is that helping," Kenzie asked
"Because I'm not sure this should be them finished" She sighed "Dez loves her and made a mistake yeah who doesn't"
"Selling drugs and lying to me after telling her how I feel about it is the issue at hand here. This is bigger. How can I trust her again after this" I sighed
"I see" Oshin sat down "Being lied to doesn't feel good"
"I thought I found something. Something real. I let my guard down. I thought being with a woman would be a good change for me" I began crying again
"Women fuck up too, Lesbian relationships are no easier simply because it's two women. It still two human beings with free will and their minds and tendencies to fuck up" Princess rubbed my shoulders " I cheated on Adrian"
"Huhhh" Kenzie raised an eyebrow
"Yeah before we got married. I cheated. We were separated for a while. I went to therapy. Then we went together then it came out we like different things sexually so we made some compromises we can talk about a different time. But I almost lost her forever. I lied and I hurt her and I deserved for her to leave and hate me. Relationships will be hard. Male and female. Female and Female. Male and Male and everything in between. Human-to-human relationships will be complicated. We are complex beings. We do things our partners wouldn't understand and hell we do things even we don't understand ourselves" Princess sighed
"I don't even care about the drugs. I knew she smoked. I care she sells and keeps her shit in that home while asking me to be there. Especially after I told her that was a fear of mine" I sighed "That's the big thing. I was vulnerable and she sat there and did exactly what I talked about behind my back. That's why it is us finished"
"That is fair" Princess nodded
"I see" Oshin nodded
"We're here for you sis" Kenzie rubbed my back
"I don't want this changing anything with anyone's friendship with Dez. She is doing what's best for her in her eyes and I am doing what I see as best for me"
"We do what we gotta do. Sometimes others get hurt in the process what matters is if she apologizes and means it" Princess smiled
"Yeah, she gotta apologize to you though. That lying shit not cute" Oshin shrugged " I mean I smoke weed too but everyone I get with know it and I don't sell that's illegal and if I did I wouldn't have my girl in my house where my drugs are"
"Oshin" Princess nudged her
"Sorry" She sighed
"You are right though" I nodded " She put herself and me at risk"
"Where did she even get weed from to sell" Kenzie pondered
"Her dealer probably. It was hella weed in that bag" I shook my head
"Girl I'm sorry Dez must be really desperate to make this career happen" Princess sighed
"And I want it to happen for her. I want her to stay safe and be successful. If that means selling drugs to be successful so be it but I want her to be safe while she does it"
"What about your uncle" Kenzie asked "He know anything about Dez being in the game"
"If he did he wouldn't tell me and they don't know each other as Dez my partner and Meech my uncle. Well as far as I know she could be lying about not knowing my uncle"
"So you aren't mad she sells weed" Princess asked
"I am disappointed in that part. I'm mad she lied and then brought it around me while simultaneously trying to get me to be a part of her life. She talked about moving in together. I was sleeping in a home with illegal drugs, probably riding in a car with illegal drugs. That is my issue. I was at risk without knowing" I sighed "I just wish she told me"
"Would it have made a difference" Kenzie asked
"I would've tried to convince her there were other ways than selling drugs. I would try to lead her down a different path. It never should've gone down this way. She just needed to be honest" I sighed "She can apologize and I could forgive her but I am done being her girlfriend. My trust is not to be toyed with"
"Give it some time" Princess rubbed my back
"Lots of time" Kenzie smiled
"As much time as you need homegirl" Oshin hugged me
"Thanks girls" I smiled
"Ice cream sundaes" Kenzie lifted my head up
"Sounds nice" I got up
We all walked into the kitchen to make the sundaes. Kenzie also poured us some wine. We all grabbed our bowls and glasses and walked back into the living room
"Sleepover" Oshin grabbed her phone and we took a group photo
"Grateful for my girls" I blew them all kisses "With you all by my side I'll be back on my feet in no time"
"And if you are still having the breakup blues I am always down for more wine and sundaes" Oshin laughed
"Never need an excuse to drink and eat ice cream" Princess laughed
"Amen to that" Kenzie laughed
"To the girls" I raised my glass
"To the girls" we all clanged our glasses together
Can't believe Dez violated my trust like that. I thought she would be different. Not just because she's a woman but because I felt a different connection to her. Something I've never felt before and she violated that by lying to me. Even if I forgive her like I said I could never get back with her. The most I could ever see myself with Dez again is cordial for the sake of our friends and because deep down I know Dez is a good person. Everyone made a good point tonight but ultimately I can not be with someone who heard my fears and then turned around and made me face them in such a way. I had to stumble upon it and have everything hit me at once. Maybe with time, I will get over it. Or maybe it is best I don't, cut my losses and never see Dez again. I know that won't be an option but it is a thought. This is all so much to work through. This breakup feels like no other breakup. Before I'd do a little cry, drink me some wine, sulk for a few months, and on to the next. This one feels like a huge hole has been ripped from my heart. from my whole being
"Hey" Kenzie pulled me from my thoughts
"Ice cream is melting" Oshin rubbed my leg
"It will be okay" Princess smiled
Thank God for these girls. They'll keep me grounded through this breakup process. However long this may be.
YOU ARE READING
Something New
RomanceZariah is tired. Tired of always being used and tossed aside when the men are done with her. She wants a happily ever after like in the fairytales her grandma told her when she was younger. When she is introduced to a new face she feels something s...
