Zariah is tired. Tired of always being used and tossed aside when the men are done with her. She wants a happily ever after like in the fairytales her grandma told her when she was younger.
When she is introduced to a new face she feels something s...
It has been about a year and a half since my break up with Dez. I had Jahmil pick my things up. I asked for the drive that has the sample of the song about me but she said she had already rewritten the file. Not sure if I believe her but the alternative is worrying she listens to the song or worse having sex with some other girl to my song. Not that I care if she is having sex with someone, I do care if it's to her rapping about having sex with me. That's just foul. I never told my family about the relationship and doubt if I ever will. I am grateful for what the relationship taught me. For starters I found myself checking females out more often and enjoying it. However, I also started checking men out again. Solidifying I am bisexual. Jahmil was a big help in coming to this conclusion. He leans more towards men whereas I lean more towards women. Coming to terms with my sexuality at 26 feels so freeing. I was afraid I had lost time or it was a phase but this is no phase this is me. The other thing I learned from my relationship with Dez is to stop blaming myself when relationships go wrong. The issue isn't that I believe my partners are different than the last one I had, in most aspects they are but the issue is people will show you all their good sides first before showing their bad ones. You fall for the good and deal with the bad. Each relationship should teach you something new about yourself and I have aside from the sexuality part. Usually, once someone you trust breaks your trust, people either put up walls and vow to never trust anyone ever again. That's not what I did, instead, I altered my definition of trust. Emphasis actions over words, thoughts, and feelings. Dez said she loved me but she lied to me and broke my trust. However, my uncle does the same thing in a way. The difference is their actions. My uncle does his business away from me and Dez brought me right to it. The difference is their actions. His actions show he loves me in his way. And he is right at this moment I don't understand it and frankly, I've stopped trying to understand. Just go with the flow. My uncle is arguably smarter than Dez and he can skirt that thin line between a certain amount of weed being legal in jersey and selling and growing your own is illegal. Plus he has the money to get a good lawyer that will defend him until he is blue in the face.
"Zeebee" Nan knocked on my door
"Yes Nan" I opened the door
"You have company downstairs" She smiled
I got out of bed and headed downstairs. Oshin was standing there waiting for me.
"O" I hugged her "why no text"
"You told me to come by and do your hair " She smiled "and no text because you told me to come by"
"Oshin you should have texted. I don't have the stuff" I rolled my eyes
"A good stylist doesn't leave home without her equipment" She showed me her bag "are you ready for braids down to your butt"
"No because I didn't ask for all that. I want a simple braided style" I pointed at her
"Fine" She pouted
"Oshin if you do a good job I'm next and if you don't well, you don't know me" Nan chuckled "I'll make lunch for you girls"
"Thanks Nan" I kissed her cheek
"Nan you don't think I can do hair" Oshin asked
"I know you have failed beauty school" Nan looked at Oshin
"They just didn't see my vision" She shrugged and skipped off to go upstairs
"Is that girl okay" Nan asked me
"You know Oshin she's a free spirit" I laughed
"I know I worry about her. She's a bit airheaded and a loose cannon. Her decisions would worry me without a doubt. Surprised she isn't somewhere barefoot and pregnant. Although as the hippie type she may enjoy that kind of thing" Nan sighed " Anyway I'll let you two get to business"
"Nan don't worry about Oshin. I'm a good influence on her" I smiled
"Or she is a bad one on you" Nan walked off
I chucked and walked upstairs. Oshin already was set up and ready to start my hair
"Remember I want something simple "I took out my phone to show her the picture again
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"Okay I get it" She rolled her eyes "What did Nan say about me once I left, I know she said something"
"How you know" I asked
"I sensed it" She shrugged "she call me a hippie again"
"That's just Nan" I sat down in the chair
"She think I'm a bad influence still" She began parting my hair
"So if she does"
"So if she does she's never gonna like me" Oshin sighed
"She likes you"
"How you like someone you consider to be a bad influence"
"Because Oshin she likes you she just worries about you"
"Why because I dare to be me and I dare to be different. Can't be because I'm gay. she doesn't know that part. or does she"
"No she is still surprised you arent somewhere pregnant"
"I'm not pregnant cause I'm banging her granddaughter" Oshin bent down to kiss me
Uhh yeah, I'm dating Oshin now. It all just sort of happened. She and Terra broke up and Dez and I were broken up so we kinda bonded over breakups. I'm not sure if Dez knows about us but we don't keep It a secret from the group. Dez hasn't been around and I get that she's thrown herself into her music. At first everyone was iffy about us dating but we are serious about each other. Oshin smokes weed. A fact she's never hidden from me. She normally has under the legal limit on her if she has it on her and she always tells me when she does, so I don't mind.
"Hey so after I finish your hair want to go to a party tonight with Adrian and Princess" She smiled
"Where" I asked
"One of Adrian's work buddies is throwing a raging party at his vacay home. Told everyone to bring as many guests as they would like"
"And Adrian asked us"
"Princess did but Adrian melts to her" she laughed "please" she begged me
"Only because I also melt at you" I kissed her
"Yay" She excitedly went to braiding my hair
Oshin really brings out my chill and go with the flow side. She challenges everything about life. What society wants you to be like, look like, and do Oshin challenges it all. That's why I'm so attracted to her. She knows what she wants in life and that is control. She wants to control what she does not have society do it. She has a dream and chases it. As Nan said she failed beauty school but that didn't deter her. Oshin does hair wonderfully. She never wanted a license but Kyrie convinced her. However, Oshin may have self-sabotaged that. She's such a breath of fresh hair compared to the men I've dated and my attraction to her is so different from Dez. Dez always seemed to overtake me. Oshin compliments me. I don't feel completely overtaken by her. I feel like I'm her equal and our vibes are matched. Our attraction is matched. We are a match. I admired her in the mirror as she did my hair. She is so cute when she is in the zone like that.
