The Call of The Sea

Emilie: 27th May

It is at this point in my acquaintance with George Ackworth that I begin to question my motives. What am I thinking? There is clearly no future for the relationship, and as it is I have no idea what our relationship is.

Yet I can't deny it; there is something special about George. He has blown into my life like a breath of fresh air and swept me off my feet. I am confused, but I like the feeling and have done since the instant we met.

As I walked home today, I felt as if I was dancing through the streets to a tune that no one else could hear as well as I could. I was truly happy for the first time since I had come to London; I felt appreciated and wanted. I could tell that George wanted me, and that just made the experience all the more exotic.

Somehow, I managed to reach my house unscathed, as I had not noticed anyone approaching or passing me, let alone any vehicles that may have potentially run me down. I floated into the house where I was greeted by a rather grim-faced Mrs Truman with her hands folded over her ample bosom.

"Where have you been all afternoon? You said you had a letter to post to your cousin."

My feeble excuse from earlier that day seemed stupid now. "I did ...but then I happened to run into an old friend. We have not seen each other this age, so I proposed that we went back to her house for a time. The time has clearly run away with us."

"What is this friend's name? I have never heard you mention her before." The woman clearly knew the ways to uncover a deception.

"Er... well really she is a friend of Cousin Sophie. We are only passing acquaintances really. She only wanted to know how my family was."

Mrs Truman scowled. "Next time you should send a note when you are detained."

"I will next time, I promise. Pray forgive me."

She scowled once more. "I am not given such powers. However, Mr Gasper, who came to call on you three hours passed, was much distressed to know that you were gone, and no one knew your whereabouts."

The sharp reminder of my attachment brought my mood down to earth once more. "He has gone?"

"He went out to search for you in his carriage, although I told him his efforts would be futile. He returned about ten minutes ago and is waiting in the library."

As if summoned by his name, Mr Gasper burst from the library and saw me. "Miss Somerson!" he rushed over and held my hands. "Goodness me, where have you been all day? I have been so worried!"

"I am so sorry to have disturbed you so Mr Gasper. I merely lost track of the time with an acquaintance." I extricated myself from his grasp with effort.

"You are quite well? London is not a safe place for a lady to go out walking alone."

"Indeed, Mr Gasper. Thank you for your concern."

I could see him visibly relax. With a few seconds, he was back to his usual countenance. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. I called to invite you to the opera with me this evening. Of course, if you have another engagement, we can postpone."

Although I did not wish to attend the opera, Mrs Truman's piercing stare through the back of my head made me reply: "Of course not, Mr Gasper. I would love to join you at the opera."

"Wonderful." Mr Gasper smiled, and for the first time in our acquaintance, I thought he was quite handsome. When we were married, I would make him smile more; he would be happier with me as his wife.

The simple and careless thought came back to haunt me after Mr Gasper had left. I had begun to think of Mr Gasper in terms of permanence.

Yet only moments before our encounter, I had been thinking of my relationship with George and where it might take me. Lord, it was all so confusing!