TU MILEYA

-// 14

Dhyanvi's Pov

Neel was never a person to read books , he wasn't invested in the fairy tales that are just fictional . But he admired the thought of true love in his own way , and whoever would choose him , he would treat her as his queen . Not promising moon and stars but promising to be there with every pain and happiness . But anyway he agreed to read , warning me he might fall asleep and take longer to read the complete thing than I expected . But I don't know what I was expecting out of it , because all together the opinion that mattered was of the person who doesn't even know about my existence .

My thoughts were captured by Darshan , somehow like I'm a prey in his spider web , with no way out . But was I trying to be free , or I enjoyed being in that web . I never truly got to know if his existence all together was good or bad or a bit of both . Because sometimes it gives me peace that I know him and sometimes all I can think is why I'm in this shit , because it seems I'm the only one trying to hold onto him .

It's not the fear of losing , it's the fear of change .

Or maybe I don't know what I really want . Sometimes the feelings take over like I don't belong here . A place that used to be comfort isn't presenting peace anymore . And it scares me . Like neither I want to hold on nor I have strength to let go . This is unsettling , and I wish this feeling fazes away as quick as it can .

" Raval is always there " , I used to believe in this . I still do but sometimes his actions make me think , its not true anymore . Like he's there but just for a bunch of fans . I'm clinging onto something that's not mine . I have had these feelings but never I dared to think like I don't belong where I'm standing . I guess it's the pain that what if , what if these feelings are true .

Do I really belong ?

I still remember , the first time I saw your face and why I really liked you , admired you , respected you like I have given no one else . It was your passion towards music , the fact that you loved the joy of making something from the scratch . The idea of moulding your experience and feelings into words and melody . Forming them with the simplicity , which is a difficult task to do . He enjoyed it and we enjoyed that feeling , embraced all the songs , and they still feel like home .

This confused mind astonishes me , because the more I try to figure myself out the more I tangle myself in its mess .

I guess it's just the fact , ' mistakes that are meant to happen yet we wanna make them " . Raval is that mistake , sweet yet sour .