Honesty - Criminal Minds || Spencer Reid Fanfiction

38. Hold Me Closer

"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." ~ Ned Vizzini

Overview

Two days after Melanie had awakened in hospital to the devastating news that she'd lost her child, she was discharged and free to leave the city that had ruined her life. And self-belief.

She half-heartedly dressed in the clothes from her go-bag Beth had brought from the hotel; the clothes she wore being sadly baggy due to their maternity largeness and the absence of her prominent bump. Now, her stomach was bloated, but no longer holding the baby she'd grown to adore.

After their breakdown together; Spencer and Melanie hadn't really said much to each other at all. He'd held her hand and she'd watch him sleep but that didn't mean she'd felt calm enough to sleep herself.

She couldn't believe that she didn't immediately realise the inherent absence of her baby inside of her when she'd initially awoken.

Spencer had tried to tell her that it was impossible for her to realise such a thing when she'd been writhing in pain when she'd initially awoken, but she'd silenced him with the fact that he wasn't there when she'd awoken; so how did he know she was in pain?

That was the last thing they'd said to each other.

The jet was silent as Beth, Aaron and Spencer slept and Melanie stared out of the window; wrapped in her own and Spencer's hoodie. She longed to rewind a few days, just so she could treasure the life growing inside of her one last time.

*

When they landed, Beth and Aaron had no idea of what to do.

Should they take the grieving couple home and look after them themselves?

Or should they drop them off at their apartment to grieve together and maybe even communicate in one way or another.

"I think it's best to let them deal with this in their own way, Beth." Aaron said carefully, sweeping his eyes to the couple as they put their bags in the trunk of one of the SUVs.

"You mean we just drop them off at the side of the road, forget this ever happened and move on with our own lives?" She asked, astonished.

"No, I don't mean that at all. They've been surrounded by people since this happened. They need to be alone to sort themselves out... on their own." Beth sighed, clearly uncomfortable with this idea but nevertheless nodded her head. 

Aaron gave her a reassuring smile, knowing that this wasn't easy but appreciating her support all the same.

The journey was short and silent; both Melanie and Spencer gazing out their back windows thoughtfully with glazed eyes. 

Aaron didn't know what to say, and Beth didn't think it was appropriate to break such a thoughtful silence.

"If you need anything," She said with a hand on Melanie's face, another on her shoulder. "You just call me okay, I'll be there in a heartbeat."

"Okay." She said in a quiet voice. the mere sound of it tugged on Beth's heartstrings. 

She leaned forward and gave Melanie a comforting hug, her nails digging into Beth's back as she desperately clung to the motherly woman keeping her safe.

"Thank you." Spencer said in a timid voice as he and Melanie made their way to the front door.

Beth watched them from the sidewalk, watching tearfully as they entered the apartment block sadly; their faces pale and distraught.