Inner Chaos

33 0 0
                                    


"I-...um..." I swallowed hard, quickly thinking of a lie to give him so that he doesn't think I was actually having a conversation with myself, when really I was forced into a useless conversation with my dead ghost of a brother. Will he believe that? Of course not. Who would besides Julia, who's aware of this situation already. Does she really think I'm innocent?

"Look, I-"

I was suddenly, rather thankfully, interrupted with a familiar ringtone coming from a short distance.
Relief was above the feeling that certainly washed over me as I whipped around, retrieving my phone.
I glanced at Keaton while answering, "Hello?"

There was nothing other than raw silence on the other end of the line. I slightly furrowed my eyebrows after not hearing anything, still having my eyes fixated on Keaton, "Hello?" I repeated once again. Curiously waiting to hear a voice follow up behind.

Keaton surprisingly took a step towards me, just as concerned as I was, crossing his arms.

Please don't come any closer..

I immediately shifted my thoughts onto the silence that still set upon the other end of the line. Still, there was no answer. A few short seconds later, the call ended indicating that the person hung up. I removed my phone from my ear, staring at the screen. Only until now that I noticed how rapidly my heart was thumping, and that I never even hesitated to answer the phone, not exactly knowing who it was at all.

"Who was that?" He questioned, causing me to look up at him. I gazed into his eyes, slowly spacing out.

He's the reason.

He's the reason why I couldn't even think properly just a moment ago. He's the reason why my heart suddenly pounds the way that it does when he's in my presence. He's the reason why my stomach unpleasantly twists into small knots because of the inescapable nervousness I somehow manage to feel......and the bad part about this whole thing is that no matter how intense my internal feelings could get for him. They could never be expressed externally. He was Julia's boyfriend and she was the best roommate/friend I could ever have right now.

"I don't know...couldn't hear anything." I shrugged, turning away to avert my eyes somewhere else.

I let out a small sigh, running a hand through my hair and tossed my phone on my bed. I can't believe that I actually just admitted to myself that I indeed in fact had feelings for Keaton. At least my inner thoughts couldn't possibly be wrecked by Mason.

Keeping my back towards him, hoping that he'd somehow get the idea of leaving the room now that there wasn't really a sole purpose of him being here. Instead, I turned my head slightly to see him take a few steps towards me, "You okay?"

"You seem...tense." He added.
"I'm fine, Keaton. Just a bit stressed, that's all."

I wasn't letting my guard down in front of him. He doesn't need know what's going in my life. Even as a friend, I feel like him knowing about my personal issues would certainly lead to bad outcomes from my end. I can already see it. I can feel it.

"You sure? You know can always come to me-"
I whipped around, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" He shrugged, coming a bit closer.

My heart...

"Because, I-" I stretched out my hand and closed my eyes, interrupting my own sentence as I couldn't exactly think of a reason why I couldn't open up to him. More like I knew the reason, he just couldn't know. "Never mind." I dismissed myself, shaking my head. It wasn't like he was going to understand what was going on even if was to tell him. Heck, I even barely know myself.

I glared down at the floor, not having any courage nor confidence to look at him, so I begin to walk pass his figure when I felt his hand grab my wrist, pulling me back where I was before. Speechless, I didn't say anything as he pulled me into his chest and wrapped his muscular arms around me. Almost instantly, everything and all of my problems have somehow vanished into thin air. Nothing seemed to exist but the very comfort that I was receiving from the one and only Keaton Mitchell.

I was a bad friend. I knew I shouldn't be allowing him to hug me even though to him it may seem nothing but innocent and pure heart. I should've told him that I was absolutely fine, and that this bizarre life I was currently living was just a wake up call. Right now I desperately needed that certain of a wake up call, because the longer I sunk into the warmth of this feeling I've been devouring for over a year...the more I was going to want him. Need him. Crave him.

I exhaled and shut my eyes, "I don't know what you're going through, Callie....but I want you to know that you aren't alone in this. I'm really sorry about what happened to your brother." He kept going. I hugged him tighter, realizing that he must be on my side and isn't blandly accusing me like everyone else. "Thank you, Keaton." I murmured, still wanting to savor this particular moment and not erupt into tears.

Feeling relieved, yet guilty at the same time has gots to be the worst combination of feelings of all time. I suddenly pressed my ear into his hard chest softly, wanting to hear the rhythm of his heartbeat. I opened my eyes and gazed at a part of his arms, curious to how defined they presented under the long sleeve shirt he was wearing. Doing this was a very strong warning that I had to remove myself directly out of this predicament, but at this point I'd already sunk too deep of my own thoughts and allowed my head to tilt back and lock eyes with him. A tiny part of me was expecting him to be the one to let go first and end this moment, but the majority obviously wanted more than just an emotional contact hug.


The sound of a vibration quickly snapped me back into reality as I let my hands drop from around him, and back to my sides. Speaking of warnings...
Not knowing what to do next, I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck as he answered his phone.

"Yeah sure, I'm on my way. Alright, see you."

Just as fast as he answered, he was done with the phone call in the same way. I kept my hand on my neck, watching him as he walked towards the door, "Sorry, that was my sister. Supposed to pick her up. See you?" He quickly waved at me before opening the door and shutting it behind him.

I sighed in frustration, dramatically plopping backwards onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
"Can my life get anymore complicated?" I asked myself out loud, obviously not expecting to hear anything back since I was clearly the only person in this room.....or so I thought.

"Oh.....it's just getting started, baby sister."

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jun 13, 2022 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

Dark MenaceWhere stories live. Discover now