My hands are trembling. I let out a shaky breath for I don't know how many times now. I sit on a stool in front of her unconscious body. I don't know what happened but hearing the nurse's words earlier, I believe her condition has something to do with her heart. She was given first aid in the ambulance but she's unconscious when we arrived at the hospital.
My hand reached for her hand and I worried more when I felt it cold. I looked at her pale face and silently wished she'll open her eyes and smile sweetly at me like how she usually does. What I am feeling right now is new to me. I feel like my heart is being squeezed and I find it hard to breathe.
I heard the door open and felt someone come near the hospital bed. I looked up and saw the nurse adjusting the IV fluid attached to the girl I'm so worried about, lying down on the bed. As if my hands have a mind of their own, I lifted her hand I am holding and placed it on my cheek. I slightly leaned my cheek on it and it somehow made me feel relieved being this close to her.
"Sir," the nurse called out in a hush tone of voice. I placed her hand back on top of her stomach before I looked at the nurse with my usual cold expression. I think I intimidated the nurse with the way she was taken aback. "The doctor said he will come and talk to you to explain Ms. Choi's condition."
Upon hearing the surname, I mushed my eyebrows and faced the nurse. "Choi?" I asked in confusion. "I haven't filled up any information form about the patient."
"Ms. Choi is a regular patient in this hospital, sir," the nurse explained and tried to put on a smile despite my cold demeanor.
"What?" My eyebrows mush even more and gave the nurse an annoyed look. What the hell is she talking about?
"She's been my patient for 6 years." Both the nurse and I looked at the door where the old doctor just came in. "I'll handle it from here." He gave the nurse a light pat on the shoulder before she went out of the room. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dr. Kim, Sandy's cardiologist." He extended his hand for me to shake but as cold as I am towards others, I did not accept the handshake and left the doctor hanging. Not to mention how confused I am right now.
"Sandy? Cardiologist?" I am so confused right now and I thought the doctor would feel the same but when I looked at him, he only smiled.
"I was anticipating that confusion. Sandy told me you have probably forgotten about her, In-yeop."
"What are you talking about? We just met yesterday!" I raised my voice. My eyes widened, shocked at how he knew my name.
"Is that what you felt when you first saw her?" He asked.
I took a step back as I raked my hair up again, giving it a light tug as I tried to process what was happening. What is he talking about that I have forgotten about her? I raked my hair up using my fingers, confusion plastered all over my face.
Sandy. Sandy. Sandy Choi. F**k! Why can't I remember? I looked at her sleeping figure as I tried to remember. Her face looks familiar but why can't I remember her?
"Have you really forgotten, In-yeop? Can't you remember a single thing about her?" The doctor asked in a tone like he is hypnotizing me.
"Can you f**king cut to the chase and tell me what's going on?!" I shouted not caring if he is a doctor or if he is way older than me. I am on the verge of crying from frustration. The doctor stepped closer and placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked at his hands on my shoulder then back to his face with annoyance.
"You can have your answers in the orphanage. I believe she has already brought you there." He smiles. I roughly shrugged his hand away from my shoulder and as I felt a tear fall from my eye, I immediately wiped it with the back of my hand. I looked at her with my watery eyes and looked away immediately. If the doctor says the truth, I feel so guilty not remembering her. I grabbed my jacket which is on the couch and stormed out of the room without saying a word to the doctor.
My feet were stuck at the front gate as I arrived at the orphanage. What answers will I get from this place? We have already been here but why did I not feel a sense of familiarity? I lift my hands and look at them and tremble. F**k this! I don't want this feeling! I'm not used to this feeling. I spun and was about to go when I saw the nun we met yesterday standing in front of me carrying a brown paper bag.
"In-yeop? What brings you here?" She asked and looked around. "Is she with you?" I just stared at her and as if she got the message, her expression changed and covered her mouth with her hand like she knew what happened.
"She's in the hospital again, isn't she?" She asked with too much worry in her voice.
"By she..." I said and looked directly into her eyes. "You mean Sandy?"
She gasped as her eyes widened. "Do you remember her?"
I stared at her with my eyes begging for answers. "What do I have to remember, sister?"
YOU ARE READING
His Reason to Live - Hwang Inyeop Short Story
Короткий рассказHe's done with life. He planned to end it. He's decided and no one can stop him. Not until she appeared with a smile on her face, offering to be with her for a whole day. A stranger who saw him about to end his life, and now asking for his whole day...
