The Gilded Cage - Put in my Place

Revolution

Rather like Karen Davenport, as was, Miss Danvers was a competent enough nanny. She had no formal qualifications that I was aware of, but she had trained with the Ellesmere's staff and she certainly knew her stuff, as far as I could see. She had nine dependent nurslings to look after full time, plus whatever she did for Mama and Madeleine, with only the maid to help her with the work, but she imposed a routine and stuck to it like glue. She was not affectionate, and she really did not like anyone to have any fun on her watch, but we were all very clean, perfectly presented and constantly focused on what we were all supposed to be doing for fear of facing her wrath. She was very strict, all the time, and far too quick to punish in my opinion, but she was consistent and persistent, efficient and attentive. If we all behaved perfectly, she left her paddle in reserve and worked us even harder. And that entire week, we were all quite perfect for her. Most of that was just about normal, because Caris, Natalie, Naomi and the Brewster sisters were all really good little girls, and I urged dear Nicola and Camilla not to do anything to risk annoying her as far as possible. My darling Caris had sweetly regressed in her first year in the nursery. She wanted to be good, more than anything else, and Henrietta, Georgina and Philippa naturally followed her lead, although I could see that they were finding the changes to our blended family much harder to cope with. Their grandparents had been travelling for some weeks, on a cruise, and in that time, their world had turned again, and they were not quite sure what was happening to them anymore. But they all worshipped Caris, and loved me, and between us we got them all to keep their heads down and just do as they were told, like the angels they were.

Miss Danvers was quite delighted, of course. Our blind obedience proved her worth, and she became, if anything, more imperious. Helen Montague bore the real brunt of that, I fear. Miss Danvers treated her with disdain, even in our occasional presence, and I longed for her to say or do something to stop the monster bullying her, but Helen seemed quite incapable of rebelling against whoever was actually making her behave like the most traditional daughter of Eve. She was allowed to help feed us, and even came to school to collect us on the Friday afternoon, but always under strict discipline. None of us got to talk to her, and she could not say a word to us with her bridle always in place. Meaningful looks were exchanged, but I could not be sure that she was getting my messages. My strategy up until that point was entirely defensive. I was not going to give Danvers the chance to hurt my sisters. I did not care so much what she did to me to be honest, but I was always the perfect nursling for her, always leading by example, trying to keep my sisters safe. I just wanted to keep my sisters away from her. But it could not last, of course. Sooner or later, I knew that something bad would happen, and on the Friday afternoon at the end of a long hard week, the inevitable flashpoint arrived, and despite my own nerves, I was forced to act, God help me. God forgive me. I had to act in God's love.

Naomi got upset. She was still only eleven, and after her year in the nursery, she really was the baby of the family. It was probably just tiredness after a tough week at school, but she really wanted her Mummy to feed her before bedtime. Everyone was out of the bath, and Helen was in the nursery to help with our bottles, but Nanny gave Naomi to the maid to feed, already in her sleepsuit, and the poor dear burst into tears and struggled a little. I was standing right next to them, still wrapped in towels, waiting to be put in my own suit, and I watched Miss Danvers drag Naomi away and smack her leg. It would not have hurt much, through the sleepsuit, but we all knew that she was going to spank poor Naomi, and I reacted instinctively. If it had been me, I would have just let Naomi go to her mother. Any caring nanny would do that, because she just wanted her Mummy and it would not do anyone any harm. But Danvers did not think like that, and she was going to punish, not nurture. And I refused to let her do it. I just barged in-between them and put myself in the firing line, pushing Naomi behind me. I am not at all sure what I was going to do next, but I was not going to let her get to Naomi, and my defiance must have been written all over my red face. Danvers looked appalled and immediately slapped that face, really hard. It all happened so quickly and I had not expected it, and time seemed to stand still for a second or two. I am not sure that anyone said anything, but my cheek was on fire. Not until Helen, to my eternal joy and instant delight, finally found her voice.