Rediscovering Us

Chapter 24

The most painful goodbyes are
the ones that are
Left unsaid and never explained
~ Jonathan Harnisch

Thea's POV

"Claire" i recognised the very known voice of Alec"i was searching for you. What are you doing here all alone?"

"Nothing...do you want anything?"

"Are you upset? Did anything happen?"

"No"

"Then?"

"Then what?" I said rudely

"Why are you talking to me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Seriously? You can't hear it?"

"No i can't."

"What happened?"

"Oh god nothing happened stop pestering me"

"God Claire! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Everything is wrong with me right?"

"Calm down.." He took my hands

"Don't" i pushed his hand back

"I am trying to be a good friend here"

"I don't want your bloody friendship, keep your hands and friendship to yourself"

"You know what Claire i will, i really dont know what your problem is, i have been nothing but sweet to you tried to mend things with you and i thought we are finally friends" he was shouting and panting at the same time

"Yeah right friends"

"Fuck it Claire i am done.....i am done pestering you, i am done trying to make you happy i am just done with us" he left the balcony turning towards the stairs

"There is no us" i stomped my feet hurting myself

"Right" he said stopping in his tracks but without turning back he left

In years i hadn't cried, not even a single drop. In the hardest of time, in the various occasions my parents belittled me i just couldn't. The last time i cried was when my grandfather died but today i felt the sad lump developing in my throat.

I ran to my room. I was falling short of breath , i was sweating relentlessly, i stripped off my clothes and switched on the ac.

Suddenly i felt the knot in my stomach again and felt gizzy. I ran to my washroom and tried pucking but it didnt help. Everything was being replayed by my brain i put a pillow on my ears i shouted but nothing helped .
.
.
.
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It was morning i saw the sun come up yet the darkness didnt go away. I was sitting beside the window. I thought of vandalizing my room time and again. I was feeling the desperate need to break everything because the rage i was feeling was way out of my control. i never knew the amount of control Alec had on me until now but i knew i was stronger than this......than all of this

Alec's POV

The conversation continuously played in my mind like a broken tape. What did i do to her? In the past few days i thought she was falling for me but yet again i was deceived. I don't even know what to think or feel at this point.

I called Ames because she was the only one who knew what i felt for Claire.

I told her everything and she listened to be without saying anything

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No its too late"

"But you are okay right?"

"Honestly i don't know, the way she spoke to me today it felt like she truly hated me and i can't do anything about it even if i am dying to do something about it"

"Look don't take me otherwise Thea is an amazing person but she doesn't deserve you "

"Amy.."

"No listen to me i know both of you and Thea is pretty shaken up after the whole Ryan thing and i don't know what came onto her today but there is one thing i know you both will never be happy"

"I love her ames , i love her so much " i let out a soft sob

"I know i know but love is not always everything, its high time you move on, she is the anchor holding you back from finding love the true one "

"I can't just stop loving her"

"I am not asking you to find someone else first thing tomorrow, but you need to let go sooner or later " amy said a bit more loudly

"You are right i was fool to believe there can ever be something between us. Thanks Ames"

"Good Night"

"Night"

I sat at the furthest corner of the bed my mind wandering off to the good old days but before it was too late i controlled by unbridled emotions.

I am gonna move on and this time it won't be an emotionless fling

4 days later

Thea's POV

These four days have passed in a jiffy honestly even if i put my heart and soul into remembering what happened in these 4 days i don't remember a thing. My friends have returned home the decorations have been taken out and i have restricted myself to my room.

I walked up to the floor length mirror beside my bed noticing every small detail on my body. I didn't remember myself to be this ugly looking my hair looked nothing better than a birds nest, my skin was breaking out and my otherwise curvy body looked lanky. Inspite of feeling unattractive i choose to lie down on the bed and scroll through Instagram.

People were still posting pictures from the party, all looking like models i tried finding myself but failed. Scrolling through Instagram i saw Amy's post- it was a picture of her with alec where he was holding out a glass of juice for her. I felt a pang of jealousy and sheer rage which i had never felt before. It was posted 15 mins ago that means she is staying with Alec. Amazing fucking amazing and was here i was looking like a homeless person sulking over a guy

I am done, i am just done, i was better off with having relationships were i hardly cared. I need to take my life back in my control.

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