Love Never Fails BUT We Fail In Love

Chapter 08 || Available

"Be available for life to happen," remarked Bill Murray, an American actor.
Since our birth, the nicest thing we have shared in our lives is availability. When babies cry for food, they signal their mother to come to feed. When a child needs to learn to ride a bike, he or she can ask their parents, siblings, or any elderly person for help. When a friend wants someone to talk to about their days they call on their best friend. And that is how our lives run in terms of availability from others.

Our society was created to be accessible to everyone. We seem to have shrunk our circle in modern times, limiting it to primarily family and close friends only. In our parents' childhood, their grandparents used to look after them during the day but we now have the concept of a 'baby sitter' because our grandparents are not available for whole day to look after us.

The availability of a friend is the primary base of friendship. If you go back to your first day of school, you almost probably had a dialogue or a response to the friend who approached you and said hello. It may have been someone who shared your desk and was available to speak with you. Were you having a good time with a friend who wasn't talking to you? Were you talking with them? Answer must be a big NO, right? You were overjoyed to do your class-work, play, and converse with people who were available to you in your school.

We really vibe with folks whoever offer us their availability, whether in the office or at work. To offer availability does not imply spending the entire day with someone or talking with them whole day. Rather, it entails being someone's ears, being receptive, and spending time with them. You could be perplexed as to why a new intern is more popular in the office than you. By conversing with everyone, how can he make everyone happy? His or her availability is the answer. He has more time to devote to them than you do. He's the one who listens to them. However, being available does not imply that you are not focused on your work or goal. If you do that without focusing on your work, they will all start talking to you, but they will value you less because you in your work are worthless. For them, you're just a talking parrot, not the working Tom.

Bring bread to the home, especially to the children, might make parents believe that they are doing a tremendous favor for children. They forget, however, that their children require their availability as well. The child(ren) wishes to share their bad times with their parents, as well as how they are feeling and coping with social situations. What their bodies are evolving into and how uncomfortable these changes might be at times. To be honest, few parents are available to hear their children. And the remaining children who were not accompanied by their parents began to share their experiences with the social world. They are sometimes harmed by the virtual world as well, but they do not have any other options. They are sometimes subjected to sexual assault, ragging, and financial fraud too. After that, children gradually enter into the world of despair and anxiety. The solution is in the hands of the parents. No child will feel lonely if their parents support them, listen to them, and make themselves available to them.

One of my friends named lazy_sane said once "Emotional unavailability is lowkey general nowadays, people feel insecure talking about oneself. We all want people who we like having in our life to open up but we didn't realize we ourselves never give that surety of opening up to them. To know about someone you should make them feel that you are opening up to them too." She beautifully established the concept of availability and unavailability in modern life.

Every relationship we build as human, evolves solely through love. And you must be available for them in order to preserve your love in good form. If you make yourself available to them, they will express their emotions, thoughts, and, most importantly, their pains with you. And someone willing to share his or her sorrows; if you're not there then it will change to split shortly. No one, not even God, can save you. Because, according to psychological studies, "the reaction in your brain is equivalent to actual physical hurt when you are neglected by someone whose attention means the most to you." Keep in mind that our brains are constantly attempting to prevent physical pain.