Love Never Fails BUT We Fail In Love

Chapter 15 || Ideal

"In order for an ideal to become a reality, there must be a person a personality to translate it."- Jesse Jackson, an American political activist once said.

Since our childhood, we have always faced comparison by society or our parents about someone ideal around us, or they ask us to admire someone as an ideal person from the society. Teachers in school asked us who our ideals were. Even as parents, grandparents were always there to alert them about their behaviors towards us. They wanted them to act well so that we could admire our parents as ideal. Every child learns from home, so if a parent doesn't believe in idealism, it would be hard for their children to learn about the concept of idealism.

Every child went through a stage in which their parents were their ideals for them, because their primary sources of learning actions were their parents, from whom they learned. They begin by attempting to imitate their parents, who were their role models at the time. For us, our dad or mom was the best swimmer or player because, at that age, they were super human for us. That is why they were our ideal. Every child would have said "my father/mother is my ideal, he/she is my superhero, I want to be like him/her/them," but slowly, when we grew, we changed our vision. We moved to Spider-man, Captain America, Superman and many more. After a few years, we again shift to someone else, who may be a singer, an actor/actress, or any specific character in a movie. Again, as we get older, we gravitate toward another ideal person, whether it's a business figure like Musk or Zuckerberg, or a career-oriented figure like scientists or doctors, or it could be a political figure too. But why do we shift from time to time regarding our ideal figure?

Idealism and psychology are the answers. Because idealism always follows reality, whenever it breaks expectations, our brain refuses to accept them as our ideal. When we grew, we saw that our dad or mom was not the best swimmer, runner, or player, so our brain shifted it. When we understand that the characters in movies are not real, they are acting in front of cameras, our focal lens changes. When we enter into a career, our focus shifts toward money and earnings. We work from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. to make ends meet, and our ideal image gradually fades or blurs from our minds because reality of life hits us, but some people follow them and grow old with the vision of their ideal person. They try to catch every bit of their ideal and their visionary mission.

If I ask you all a question, I can guarantee you will answer affirmatively "yes." So, do you have a memory of your best teacher? Or, among your teachers, do you have your ideal one? You all will answer yes. Why so?

Because every one of us has had at least one teacher since we were children who we liked the most or who liked us a lot in every class. They gave attention to us, they asked us about our problems, and we were one of their favorite students in the class. Maybe they were from your KG school, or high school, or college, or maybe they were/are your tutor, but at least we have one teacher in our memory we admire most. Whom do we respect most and, if possible, we want to be like them. Why so?

Because we loved their actions toward us, we loved how they treated us. We loved the way they used to teach us. Every class of our favorite teacher was too short, and the boring classes were too long. Our brains played the major role because each class was the same duration, but we loved only some teachers and their ways of teaching. We understood their lectures so easily; that's why they were our ideal teachers. We learned many tricks and formulas to solve our daily life problems too, so every time we mentioned to our juniors or children that we had XYZ teacher for XYZ subject in XYZ grade, they thought awesome.

So the ideal for us always comes with the concept of perfection. We admire their talent. Sometimes it goes towards some products too, like the ideal laptop for gaming is xyz, the ideal sportswear is xyz, etc. We always compare individuals or whatever surrounds us and try to find the best one that is ideal for us. We can make infinity lists because we are human: ideal romantic destination, ideal job, ideal car for mountains, and so on. Brain always settles for ideals and tries to give us a secure future, so from time to time, it changes the concept of ideal in every stage of life. Maybe during your young (kiddo) age, an ice-cream bar was perfect for offering treats to friends, and during your adulthood, an alcoholic bar is an ideal destination for your gang. But it all depends on individuals. Some adults still love peaceful, breezy places rather than disco lights with loud music. Whenever your brain categorizes you in any specific range, it will tell you to join the crowd or not, because whatever suits you is the result of reality and your dreams. Real actions will save your future, but dreams can't.