Until The Next Time -R //JEGULUS

Letter 5

                     13th August 1979

Regulus Reg,

Happy Birthday! 18! Just like I have said several times before, you are officially old. You were an adult last year so you're practically fossilised now! (Don't you dare point out the fact I am older than you) Fun fact: If you were a muggle you would be an adult today! I know you don't really care but I am telling you anyway because I can.

I get this is probably a bit of a shock and possibly an inconvenience but yaknow, I couldn't forget could I? I just wanted to say that I hope you have a great day and uhhhh, hang on I forgot what I was going to say...

Oh yeah! I know you are likely at least a bit surprised to receive this but I wanted to tell you something important because I know you will think otherwise if I don't. I....do not hate you. Okay? I know you well enough to know that you probably think I hate you after...what happened. But I am here to assure you that I don't! I know that we will never get past that and will most likely never see each other again but I can't let myself calm down until I know I have told you that I don't hate you. Okay?

Oh, and I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. I figured you wouldn't expect it and if I did choose to it may...I don't know, make things worse? I don't know, I guess it just would have felt awkward, that's all. Even this is making me doubt everything I've ever done , trying to forget about everything that happened is draining . And you know I don't want to make you feel even more awkward because this letter will probably do a good job of that alone, knowing you. You're such a worrier Reg, it's actually quite sweet it's quite difficult to avoid making you embarrassed or sad so I hope I have managed to steer clear of doing that now.

Uh, that's all I really wanted to say. You probably almost definitely won't reply to this but Remus, Lily and Marls all said it was a good idea (I didn't mention it to your brother though, you know how he is haha) so I decided to do it before I thought about it too much and changed my mind. But yeah, don't feel pressured to reply, it would be great if you could, so I could know that you are doing alright but you really don't have to, I guess it would be a little difficult to figure out where to go from there so I understand. I won't send any more letters if you don't reply because I wouldn't want you to feel pressured to mingle with the enemy , I promise. I know I should probably take the hint of you not sending a single letter since...um....that you haven't sent a single letter for the whole of the holidays so far even though you told me in April you are free to send letters at home now (finally your mother stopped being as much of a strict old cow) as a sign you want nothing to do with me anymore but you know I can never take hints! Anyway, sorry if I ruined a perfectly good birthday for you Reg, I won't bother you from now on if you choose to ignore me.

I love you, Hope you are doing okay,

-James x

Ps. I hope this arrives on time, I know owls can be unreliable at times and I don't know how well getting the letter into your home will be but a man can hope!