Philza Oneshots

you were so much better.

as in an au where philza and his brothers are demon slayers, but being human means nothing happy never lasts forever.

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the eight of you were always so much better than me. no matter how much i tried, i could never be you. it's the reason i'm still a low rank slayer.
so why?

it's not fair, the way i watch everything continue around me peacefully and the way i see achievements being made, lives being saved. what am i still doing here, training? how did i get past final selection?

i hid.

i shouldn't have lived through it. i can't believe i lived to see another day past it.

but that was just because you protected me.

and you... snow.

your hair used to be as white as snow, and your eyes like blinding white flames. that's why our parents named you yuki. you were a beautiful angel.

you died saving me.

not so soon after final selection ended, our parents were killed and so was kusho.

he also died trying to save them.

but i never did anything. as the second eldest, i never stepped in or tried.

i watched.

i watched and my sword felt heavy at my waist.

did i deserve my nichirin sword?

no.

...
i don't like how i end up thinking of you when i'm at my worst.

i don't like the way i'm still here after so long.

i don't like the numbers on my eyes.

i despise the feathers on my back.

i watched you all become something strong and beautiful.

i watched you all grow and leave.

and then i watched you die.

...

feeling a leaf blow onto my head, i brushed it away and pulled my hat off.

i was angry. so angry. i hated this hat. i'm not sure why. the sight of it angers me, but i hate seeing it torn. it's the one thing anchoring me down to earth - it feels as if it were to disappear, i would too along with my purpose.

what is my purpose?

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shit.
my arm is torn.
how did i miss that blow?

i hate hashiras. i hate slayers. i hate the corps.
i'm not sure why.

the hashira struck at me from amidst the debris and rubble, and i barely managed to lean back just slightly and avoid it. he had blonde hair and red tips...

just like you, aka.

"I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB BY LIMB, HASHIRA!"

who said that? surely there was no one other than me battling this hashira.

oh. i did.

why didn't i feel it?

the air warmed. i was still head to head with this damned slayer. why was it getting warmer?