ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ

Mommy Issues

  "Hey" Jennie rest her head next to my locker as I unlocked my lock and popped it open. "Hey" I greeted back with a smile, I grab two books and steal a glance back to her.

"Are boys such idiots or girls mature earlier?" I began as I shove some books inside my sling bag. "Boys never mature, you should see my brothers!" She quickly say. I tittered and saw her pull something out from her back.

"I got you something," She wave the CD to my face before I grab it from her hand. I puckered my brows and admired the cover.

"Miguel?" I gaze front to back 'All I Want Is You' Album. How'd she know?

I shot my eyes back at her for a second before I return the smile she was giving me. "This is so nice of you!" I exclaimed as she grabbed the hair brush from my locker and started stroking her hair.

"I was listening to him, I thought of you for some reason..." She casually say and I pursed my lips, nod my head in an understandible way.

She shyly looked down and I shaked my head for staring at her for too long. "Well...I gotta go..."

"Yeah- Me too." I scratch my head and let out a breathy laugh. She nodded and returned the brush back inside my locker before passing behind me.

"Thank you for this," I sweetly say as she looked behind and said bye as I closed my locker before walking to a different direction.

•

  Mother drove us into a wet, cold road in the neighborhood. We wore thick coats and gloves on the way to bring back Jennie home. Us laughing as mother steer in the driver seat, I giggled when Jennie tells me a funny story of her and her brothers past. Sometimes I find myself grasp onto her arm and squeeze it lightly.

"So, Jennie can uh- can Roseanne expect a lot of homework in eleventh grade?" Mother intervened and fixed the mirror in front of her before grabbing the steering wheel again.

Both of us stare. Jennie purses her lips and giving me stares as if she was asking for acceptance, I nod. "You get used to it, at first it gets really hard but now it's okay" She tilted her head before I leaned to her ear and whisper a joke leaving us in a laughing mess.

"What's so funny?" Mother step in again, trying to grab my attention. I rolled my eyes and chuckled blackly. "Mom, it's private!" I laughed out as Jennie nudges me to stay quite instead, she notices that I was turning into a brat which I immediately stop.

Another awkward minute passed. "Oh- That's my house up ahead" Jennie pointed as Mother nodded before turnign to the side of the street and slowed down.

"Okay, Bye Rosie!"

"Bye Jennie," I waved as we watch her get out and ran on snow to her front door. I switched to the passenger seat and giving a last wave back to Jennie as I saw her shut the door.

•

  A week past and nothing seemed to happen in each day. Until I saw my mother cry in her room. I usually live with her once a week, my dad thinks it would be okay if I would stay for five days and back to my step mothers house where he lives now and my sister who was finding a job. So overrall.

My own mother is alone in the house, the house I thought that we could live happily ever after, but my dad had find another woman, thinking that staying with my mom with no love could kill him. That was when my eating disorder started, started ever since I was thirteen. I thought love could mend all the things possible in a family. I wish I didn't overthink too much,

But I'm recovering as much as possible, for my mom. Because I love her but sometimes she can be very ignorant, about my privacy and maybe thinking that i'm gonna be a kid forever. I accept to take care of her, I have also talked to my dad that she may kill herself. I had thought that and maybe seen in my previous scenarios. I cried when I did, I had to talk to my father, he comforted me, he understands. Letting me stay with my mother for a while was the best thing he can do.

After two classes had ended. I joined Jennie in an empty hall, on our way she was dancing, spinning around. Which was not very odd for me anymore, I had notice that she was a very energetic person of all teenager in this wreckened school.

"So we we're gonna get pizza later, you wanna come?" She spins and skips. I watch her intensely as I walk to a locker and leaned my arm.

I shake my head and sighed deeply. "I can't I have to go shopping with my mom, it's like this big- What are you doing!" I giggled when she kicked the locker next to the one I was leaning on.

"C'mon!" She grabs my wrist that took me by surprise, about to spin my around. "I can't dance!" I giggled and gasp when she does. Pulling me and spinning me agian carefully.

"It's like this big tradition that we have to go shopping and then we had this big sundea which was really interesting last year..." I trailed off when she slowly let me go and I sighed again, I gaze down and said, "I don't really wanna go because my moms become really depressed" I walk steadily as she sway wall to wall of the hollow, big corridor.

"Really? Mine too!" She says casually which made my brows furrow. "Really?" I stare at her before sitting down to another locker.

"Yeah- Uh, she just doesn't know it yet..." She stopped as she sat beside me with a weak smile. Saying after. "Does your mom cry?" She whispers sweetly, I nod.

"Yeah...She doesn'y think that I hear her but I do" I breathed out

She purses her lips into a thin line and nodded, looking around the hallway before turning back at me. "So are you gonna go with her?" She asked with a deep breath. I didn't had any words to continue.

"You should go with her." She stares back to my eyes sheepishly. Those emotions that are vague to my appearance again yet it was so clear in the same time. Her brown eyes could heal me.

I shrugged and averted my gaze away to my fiddling fingers. "Can I tell you something?" She mumbled as I rise my brow to make her continue.

"You're so interesting...You never notice in no one in our age dresses to show who they are? They dress to hide who they are and-" Jennie suddenly stopped and looked away before I could see a smile forming in her lips.

"What?" I blurted out

"Sorry...I talk to much" She chuckled without looking at me.

I shake my head and giggled. "No it's okay. I like it..." I could feel a tug on my lips. Showing all my teeth in shame. She nod and finally stared.

"You should go wtih her" She muttered, still looking at me before I tear away my gaze and looked behind her instead. She's right, it's not so bad to hang out with mother, why am I even avoiding her?