ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ

Ignoring

   "She's gay." Lisa replies flatly. I had the sensation that the world had come to a halt. What exactly is she?

"No, she isn't," I countered, but Lisa laughed softly,

"Rosie, it's no great deal-"

"But, I know it's not a big deal because she isn't," I went on. Lisa scoffed and took a few steps to me. "Excuse me, Jennie Kim and Nayeon Im were like madly in love you don't know this?" I tried opening and closing my lips to find words, but they seemed to become caught in my throat. "Jennie completely broke her heart!"

"I really don't think that's what happened." I kept my composure, but she persisted, "Yeah it is, ask anyone. "Lisa walked around me and was ready to leave the kitchen, but I want to blindly defend Jennie since that's not the story I'm familiar with.

"I don't have to ask anyone since I know her!" Lisa continued walking with a look that said, Yeah, whatever. I didn't know why I was angry; perhaps it was because she withheld another secret from me, even though I absolutely disagree with anything Lisa misled me about because it isn't true!

•

   Going to school seemed unconventional now. Seeing Mr. Dimitri post the 'Gay and Straight Alliance' leaflets to the school walls with Jennie and Irene just a few feet away while I kept my stride steady made the situation feel unsafe. They're also hanging out on my locker, which is great. Now that I can't truly ignore her for the time being, why am I doing this?

"Hey, Rosie!" Jennie waved from the crowd, instinctive making Irene purse her lips and leave. No this is great!

"Your hair is all frizzy,"

"Yeah, I had no time to fix it."

"Here let me fix it for you." Jennie insisted and drew me in front of her, running her fingers over my hair, as though other pupils were observing how intimate we were. It seemed odd to have to urge Jennie to stop, but not in an obnoxious manner. I let out a breathy laugh before protesting, "Okay, I think that's good," "You should go," Jennie nods and is about to pull me into a hug but I veer away a little, "Well then, I better go, I don't want to be late," I quickly bid away and hurriedly walk to the other direction, cursing under my breath.

As I passed another classroom slowly, "Hey, Rosie." I turned my head to see Lisa emerged out of Mr. Dimitri's classroom. "So, listen. I can't drive you to therapy, there's a Gay and Straight alliance meeting tonight," I was astonished and left my jaws open. How can this day be so torturous?

"You have to, what else am I supposed to do?" I said grumpily, I have no choice except to disregard Jennie right now. What am I doing neglecting her? Simply put, I'm terrified and worried. I'm not sure why, but I can't answer all of the inquiries at once.

Lisa's eyes pinched, as if she thought I sounded foolish. "Then you're just gonna have to come to the meeting,"

"No way." I instantly protest, especially if Jennie is on her way.

"Well i'm not going to drive you all the way home and then all the way back!"

"Uh, fine. Fine!" I whined, rolling my eyes at her before walking away. Why can't I just say I don't want to see my rumoured homosexual bestfriend? This is stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

I had to see my therapist today, I need to rant, I need to tell someone at least.

•

   "Okay, so the fact that your friend is gay-"

"No, no, no. My friend being gay wouldn't bother me," I paused, "What bothers me is people saying she's gay if she's not." I stare at him, he nods his head as a sign to continue to explain. I think of the words in my brain and remark, "Like there are girls in my school who say they're gay and know if they are, they aren't. But at least it's their choice say it."