My Short Stories

Logi's Revenge Pt. 1 (Radio Show Script)

Some context: I wrote this as an assignment back in 10th grade for my theater class. It's a radio show-style comedy, meant to be listened to like a podcast. Logi is pronounced like Loki, but with a 'g,' and Ugli like ugly but with a long U sound. Enjoy the cringe!

LOGI'S REVENGE

ACT I

Narrator: Welcome, ladies, and gentlemen, to Logi's Revenge! But first, a message from our sponsor...

Male: (dreamily) Maybe it's the way the sun kisses his skin or maybe it's the gentle shoulder rubs before bedtime. It could be the homemade fettuccine alfredo he prepared last night, or perhaps it's the load of laundry you found neatly folded on the landing. Maybe it's just because he's there. Those actions say so much, even when words are hard to find. Let him know how much you love and appreciate him with a double-decker grille, a large plasma TV, and let him renovate the basement into a sports bar...

Female: Honey, I can hear you, and please, just take your Nocturnal Rest already!

Male: for nights when you just can't sleep, try Nocturnal Rest and get to sleep fast!

Narrator: All right, thank you! Now, let's get to our story. We start with the director and his cast as they rehearse for their newest movie...

Director: (over the sound of the crowd) Settle down, settle down. Let's do roll call...Loogie?

Logi: (frustrated) I prefer to be called by the name Logi.

Director: Oh, sorry about that. Uh...Finkle?

Finkle: Yes sir, right here sir!

Director: Alright, Gertrude? What kind of name is that?

Gertrude: (shyly) Oh that would be me...(uses her inhaler)

Director: Okay, Thomas...Maple-Leaf? (aside) Must be a Canadian.

Thomas: Here sir, eh?

Director: Okay, Penelope? (pronounced like cantaloupe)

Penelope: Daddy, you know I'm here. You drove me here.

Director: Oh, that's right, I forgot.

(snickering heard from Finkle)

Director: And finally, Donald?

Donald: (like a superhero) Here, sir!

(Penelope swoons and sighs)

Director: It's nice to see you all here for callbacks, my name is Ugli and I'll be directing this production-

Finkle: Ugli? Sounds more like ugly to me!

(snickering from actors)

Director: Haha, very funny. Let's move on shall we? Alright, let's figure out parts and get started. Loogie will be the villain, Finkle the village idiot, Gertrude the nerd sidekick, Donald the superhero, Penelope the damsel in distress, and Thomas the inspector. Everyone: get your scripts and turn to scene one.

Logi: Are you serious! You chose Donald as the hero?

Director: (threatening) I could call back the other actors who could do the job just as good as you, or I could just fire you right here and now. How does that sound?

Logi: I do apologize...sir...

Director: Good, now everyone get your scripts and turn to page one.

(shuffling of feet and papers)

Narrator: As they start, Logi walks to the side and mumbles to himself in frustration... The director notices this and follows.

Logi: (gradually sound more evil throughout monologue) Finally...alone.... This script, these meaningless words on this parchment. (rips script) Pathetic No matter the effort I put into an audition, I never have or will receive the part that I desire. Yet now, upon this public platform, I can finally unleash the devious plot I have for so long withheld. Ever since I failed to get the lead role in High School Musical, I have carefully constructed the perfect plan to eradicate all evidence of acting from this world and then all human life after! (short laugh) Upon this public platform that broadcasts to every square inch of the face of the earth, I can finally exact my revenge. On all directors and any actors that could be considered as competition, I shall slay! The time has finally arrived! (long evil laugh)