Run After Her

19

Calyx Kheifer Huscaro

I can't believe that this is happening. It's been 2 months ever since maging kami ni Kourtney. I don't know what to think nor what to do. In fact I planned everything starting from the beginning. Hindi ko alam yung gagawin ko pero prepared ako.

Hindi na kasi ako papayag na mawala pa siya ulit sa'kin. Tama na yung ilang beses kong sinayang yung chance na binigay niya sa'kin. Okay na 'yon. Kaya this time I want to fulfill my promises to her. This time hindi na ako papayag na hindi kaming dalawa sa dulo.

I may have chosen other girls and ladies before rather than choosing her but this time I'll rather lose other ladies than to lose her. Who says that friendship to lovers relationship doesn't work? Actually, it does work but it depends on the lovers.

We're best friends for 13 years. I courted her before because I gave her an assurance but not because I like her. However, as time goes by I realised it late. I realised that I loved her but I chose to deny it because we're friends and it might ruin our friendship. I chose to stay for the friendship instead of risking. It's the fate and destiny's game after all. Making me love the person whom loved me first. But when I loved her already, it turns out that she doesn't love me anymore. It feels like gusto niya nalang sakyan, dahil ang iniisip niya lang is FUBU lang kami na joke lang lahat. Still, I actually loved her.

It might look wrong because I loved a child. I loved her ever since she was 12. And I hate the fact that I couldn't stop what I'm feeling. I courted her, pero hanggang dun lang. I watched her grow up. Hindi naman kami umabot sa point na lumagpas kami as friends. Hindi rin naman siya matatawag na illegal because I waited for her 'til she's ready, I stayed but without any commitment.

"Bro, you're spacing out again. What's the matter?" My brother asked.

He's Cullen Zayvien my older brother. He's just two years older, so I often call him kuya. Lahat ng kalokohang ginawa ko alam niya, pati yung nangyari sa'min ni Kourtney when she was younger.

"Just in case magbago treatment ni Kourtney sa'kin, do you think she'll accept me to be her husband?"

He gaped in beyond belief before saying, "Wait, are you really sure that you'll marry her? Parang kailan lang ayaw mong makipagbalikan kay Kourtney. But look at you know, being so eager to marry the only woman in the Sillero Family." Then he grinned at me.

I gasped for air dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi naniniwala si Cullen na gusto kong pakasalan si Kourtney. Matagal ko nang plinano 'toh, bago nila ipalabas na patay na siya dapat magpopropose na ako sakanya. I want to ask her to marry me, but hindi naging gano'n kadali para samin ang mga bagay-bagay. Walang lumipas na araw na hindi kami magkaaway. Puro nalang kami away, but she never got tired of me, of what's between the two of us. Sabihin na nating hindi ko alam na may anak ako sakanya na limang taong gulang na ngayon, isa din silang dalawang magkapatid sa mga rason kung bakit gusto kong pakasalan si Kourtney. I want to give my children a happy and not broken family. Ayokong isipin nila na hindi ko manlang nagawang pakasalan ang mommy nila kahit sobrang mahal ko.

Napabilib ako nang isang Kourtney Neisha Sillero. Bata pa lang siya napaibig niya na 'ko, weird right? Hindi ko inaakalang magkakagusto ako sa bata pa. Madami akong naka fling, pero lahat ng naka fling ko hindi niya nagustuhan. Desisyon nga ata siya eh. Wala akong naka fling na hindi niya kilala. Sa sobrang close namin halos siya na nagdedesisyon sa buhay ko, pero ang hindi ko lang alam kung bakit sinusunod ko siya kahit hindi niya naiintindihan yung mga bagay na ginagawa ko.

There's this time na may fling ako na hindi ko pinakilala sakanya, nalaman niya lang mag-isa ni wala din ngang nagsasabi sakanya maski mga kaibigan ko. She's comfortable as fvck sa bahay namin kaya nagulat na nga lang ako nang walang ano-anong pumasok siya sa kwarto ko kahit natutulog ako. She just banged her things reason why I woke up frustratedly then she hugged me from behind saying, "Hoy gurang, I heard may ka fling ka nanaman ah? She's not even pretty and sexy, hahanap ka nalang ng makakafling yung cheap pa." She softly uttered. She's the clingy type of kid, she'll always cling on you no matter what you're doing. She'll disturb you cutely and sweetly, kaya sanay na ako sakanya kapag nakakasama ko siya.