Su Paloma (Mafia Series #3)

I SEE HER

Kierans POV

I sat there watching her as she watched me back. It was amusing that the silence was almost completely consuming us. I just wanted to see if she would crack considering I had not asked anything in the last 10 minutes.

"Mr. Russo I am a trained professional and you can trust me when I say everything we discuss here will be held with extreme confidentiality." I nodded leaning back in the leather couch as I continued to watch the doctor.

"Why are you wearing that getup?" I asked without hesitation being tired of not being able to see what her appearance was like. My curiosity spiked when I couldn't see who I was speaking to. I couldn't correctly measure the type of person she was.

"We'll if you must know mr.Russo, I have a nasty case of pink eye and I'd rather my patients not think of me as a snob who doesn't was her hands." She lightly chuckled but it sounded void of any humor. Which only told me one thing; she was lying.

"I don't think it's smart to begin building trust with a new patient and start with a lie." I said as I rubbed the rugged beard I had grown out and had not had the change too groom it yet.

"Is there anything you would like to talk to me about that is yourself?- she completely blew off my very true statement.- maybe your feelings? Or the stress you are experiencing as of late? Or the losses you've suffered?" My body suddenly went ragged. My breathing became uneven, even though I couldn't see her eyes by the way she gripped her pen within her mint green colored manicured hand I knew she was aware that she had just struck a nerve.

"You lost someone." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. It was clear that she pointed it out in hopes that I would discuss it, but I'll be damned if I talk about my Emerson to a complete stranger that can't even look my in the eyes.

"Tsk tsk tsk doctor... I think you know that I have, and I think you also know that I won't be talking about that now, not today. Not to someone who can't even give me the decency of giving me their eye contact." She was peeved I could see it in the way her knuckles turned white while she gripped her pen.

She had not written much down considering we had not spoken much other than her dishonesty to me. "Listen Mr.Russo, we have 30 minutes left of the session, I won't be forcing you to come back and it is my job to build trust and help you with your problems, but my personal life and physical appearance is not included in that list. So, please let's get back onto the topic of you. Because that is why you are here, you are here to speak to me about yourself."

I let out an exasperated sigh, I glanced once at the clock that ticked on the wall then I looked at her. I tried to lock eyes with her even though I couldn't see them.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw her, my angel. I didn't react quickly as to not alert the doctor, I instead glanced at my angel as she sat in a chair next to the sofa I was currently sitting in. She smiled softly at me, giving me all of her attention. She got up and walked to me and sat down next to me.

It was as if no one was in the room with me except her. I didn't follow her every movement as to not seem like a nut job. Once she settled herself beside me she whispered in my ear softly.

"Tell her about me." I wanted to protest but the thought of seeing her upset even in my mind persuaded me to speak about her.

"I lost my wife." I decided in  that moment that my angel would win this round. I stared down at the hand she had placed on my thigh. "I am sorry to hear that."

"Sure doc let go with that." I was irritated, I didn't enjoy hearing the fucken sentiments full of pity. I had been hearing them for the past 3 years, it was so damn irritating.

"How did you lose her, was it recent?" She leaned on her elbows against her desk, her focus entirely on me.

"3 years ago, some prick shot her in the abdomen. She lost to much blood before we could get to the hospital in time. She never made it off of the operating table." I didn't continue incase she wanted to say something.

"Tell me more, if your comfortable of course." I nodded not fighting it anymore. I would take Dominicos advice and try.

"She was pregnant, I didn't just lose her, I lost my child. I lost the most important thing in my life and come to find out there was going to be a second important thing, but it never got to that point because they didn't make it." I felt like shit talking about it now. I had never spoken out loud about this to anyone. I didn't feel like opening up for anyone, no one deserved to feel what I was feeling so I kept it to myself until now.

"It sounds to me like you did not properly grieve and you are still very much in pain."

"No shit Doc, I mean if I knew coming here would mean that you would just point out the damn obvious I should have just drank my ass to my own grave!" She didn't flinch back, she didn't show irritation towards me.

She just sat there taking it from me and listening. She knew I was just hurting, she knew I just had these feeling held in for so long and now I didn't know how to process letting them out so she was allowing me to try and hurt her.

I respected her for allowing me to talking to her like she was shit. I would make sure to apologize before I took my leave.

"Anything else? A Certain Dominico? Called in and told me to ask you about 'the plane incident'- she did air quotes as she read it off a piece of paper.- do you care to share anything about that?" I let out a frustrated groan, damn Dominico and his gigantic mouth.

"I see her."

The room was silent and the tension suddenly became noticeable. "You see her? See who exactly?" I hesitated for a moment balling my fists looking at my angel before say it.

"I see my dead fucken wife doc! I see her! She talks to me! She fucken tells me how much she missed me! I see her in my dreams and I can't help but wonder if she's still in pain because of me!"

***
Leave it to the doc to put our MC in his place. Next chapter will be a different perspective I hope you guys are enjoying the story!! <333

As always thank you for reading!