In search of the word me and myself

Behind the innocence

Yes, she tried it out. She found herself trying something that she was not suppose to or maybe the things that was bound to be found. She had started watching those stuffs time to time but never had the feeling of trying it herself. However, things started to change or was itherself changing? she didn't know what she was doing nor what that feeling was. She saw those videos of girl masturbating even heard some real life stories yet that did not take a toll on her. Sometimes she feld disgusted sometimes she felt empty untill the age of 21 the end of february.
She couldn't make herself masturbate no matter how many times she tried that. She began searching for the word "how to make yourself masturbate?" Yeah she got that and she did it but it was not as she expected. The endless x rated videos she watched none made her aroused, none made her feel any excitement but at a point she stopped watching it as it was of no fun. Two times she dreamed of having sex when she woke up from her sleep she was disgusted with herself and she was ashamed of it. The dream she saw remained with herself.
Hahaha no one would have imagined that she was into those stuff! Those things were normal in the world of others but in the world she lived in it was a sin a disgusting manner a shameless act. Why was it that though? Why would no one would have imagined her as someone with dirty thoughts? To find out please read the next chapter.