In search of the word me and myself

Intense

Bess didn't know that once what she had started that would lead to several other attempts ultimately leading to addiction. If she didn't enjoy it why was she trying out again? She could never get an answer to that.
She tried it out again. The answer to the question "how to get yourself to masturbate again"
it said "listen to moaning sounds".
She tried that and finally found herself some excitement and arousing even if it was just for a short duration.

Where would this lead to? she wondered. One thing she knew sometimes, at times when she thought about doing it, her body felt stiff. She felt heated up. She sometimes found herself thinking about having sex again. She wanted to know how that felt. No, if she tried it out no she couldn't risk that. She was just a college student, others could do it but she dared not. She could risk her curiosity over pregnancy right. She could not stop thinking  about her family and how society would look on her after taht. That what if question never stopped its appearnce into her life. Her curiosity was sure weird.

Would she be able to continue doing that or leave or forget it after some time like always? She had the knack of getting tired of something easily. Or you could say she moved on easily. Will her disposition remain the same forever?