It became her habit although she did not enjoy it. How could other understand that feeling when she herself didn't understand that. Days passed into weeks, she tried different other ways but nothing could make her feel satisfied nor let that empty feeling go. It became hard for he to throw away that dirty habits of her.
That was when she decided to continue it no matter what. No one would, no one could know whats going on in that mind. She hid it well because she was good at pretending because she was good at pleasing other because she was good at decieving others because she was good at running away. She with that smile plastered on her face she did that. She did what she was not suppose to do. Not knowing where that act was leading to she had started but not now. She ought to find what was at the end of the road, that road that once started leading her now she lead that road. No matter what she challenged herself for once and for all she wanted to break her limits and satisfy her curiosity.
Nobody would have even believed if she was to tell them the truth. This was her biggest secret no one ever knew. She was used to not having secrets for she was a blabbermouth. If someone sympathized her she shared her sorrows she shared her happiness but she felt that no one was interested in her story. Yet she could not help it. She was that naive girl who felt her insecurities. She was good at complaining even no one paid heed to her. Others pointed out her shortcoming, no one appreciated her for her good deeds but she, she was not able to say up their front of her dislikes about them, she hated them yet she was not able to shut them out her life.
This time she felt determined rather ran away from those things. Things were bound to change. Time passes and things changes. She felt different this time. Why not keep doing things their back because nobody even cares about what she was to do. She had been living what others expected of her no one actually seeing what she was really. The road paved by others felt exhausting and suffocating but this time she was the one who paved her road herself. She wasted to get faraway from their clutches. However, the path she would be going down seemed risky and dangerous.
If she could have shared to this some one, if someone have bothered to listened to her story maybe the road she was taking might have been something better. If she had courage to share it, if she had taken a step in getting help she could have paved a better road. Not now the things have started going down that cliff where it was diffficult heading up. If only a rope could pull her up. If only someone was there holding her up.
YOU ARE READING
In search of the word me and myself
RandomA girl trying to find out and try out things that she was not suppose to?