In search of the word me and myself

A new start

She left. She left her old self behind. She left her so called friends. She left those strangers behind. She left her parents and her siblings. All in all she left the society whom she feared the most. She left all those unknown feelings. She left not wanting to return. Returning to the place she despised it was never in her plan once leaving but who knows. The so called fate may bring her back to where she belonged.

She left for her further studies planning to never come back. She found herself in an unfamilair place with unfamiliar faces. She was surrounded by strangers but these strangers were far more not bothered by her presence unlike in that place. Because she was alone, because she knew none of them, because no one was interested in her business she felt she could continue and start anew.

A month went by swiftly she didn't bother making friends but people approached her. She was comfortable being all alone untill a group approached her. Time spent with the she knew they were good at heart but mischievious character. Unlike her and unlike the people back there they were open to all those sex and stuff. Bess was amazed about how they talked openly about their private lives. They never left me even though she spoke less. She worked and she studied. She hang out with them and she began to open up.

They urged Bess to go out more and make a boyfriend but they never forced her. They went to party as they did occassionally and this time she felt a strong sensation and curiosity to finally try it out. As she danced along with her friends she accidentally touched a boys dick. Next thing it hardened. She felt teasing him and she did. Never once she had touched someone's private part she felt her cheek heating up. She drank less because she never liked being drunk but had enough drink to built up her courage. She teased him further rubbing her hand against his member and he clenched his fist.

"Girl don't do that. I can't gaurantee what I'll do to you" he warned. Bess couldn't let it slide afterall she had been waiting to do that but all her thoughts she thought she have left behinf came flashing back.
With a deep breath she shut her eyes and all her thoughts. Finally kissing him and the boy responded.

She was led to a room and they continued their kiss. Bess didn't know what she was feeling. It was her first time but the feeling she have seen those in countless movies and videos were not what she experienced. She let him do what he wanted. He was inside her in a second. The feeling of having sex with someone was not a pleasure but a still emptiness. She tried her best to entertain him but he was the only one enjoying.

The feeling that she had been curious of was nothing but emptiness. She felt nothing at all not even sadness.
She finally had sex but she was not satisfied. She stared blankly at the door through which he left. He had attractive body and his movements were great. But why?
She felt tired. She did not enjoy it all.