Neverending - Sequel to Osasuna and Sakuatsu

4 - Countdown

Tw: some mentions of suicide
If you have any kind of disturbing thoughts, please don't be afraid to turn to someone and ask for help. There will always be someone who will listen and take care of you if you're in trouble. The mentions of such things in this fanfiction are only for educational purposes to make others aware how tough it can be, and for the emotional representation of the characters. My DMs are open if you need it, stay safe. ♡

There was nothing that upset Osamu more than the fact that Suna was, without a doubt, extremely depressed about all of this.

He didn't get out of bed the entire day and when Osamu tried to approach him, he'd be a distant little bitch. Suna knew he shouldn't act like it, but he couldn't help it.

Another thing he couldn't help was starting to act like his mother. Her memories were itching him. Whenever he closed his eyes or zoned out, which now happened more often that usual because he's tired, he saw her. The things she did. Even the scar on his hip started to magically hurt again. He checked with his phone camera in case it was infected, but it seemed healed. Mostly. Maybe it's just the trauma that day bought him. Or maybe he's imagining it. Whatever the reason, Suna is suffering because of it. He had never been more thankful for the holidays before, because if this was happening during school terms, he probably would've attempted.

The thought struck Suna like lightning. He never realized he never thought about suicide in the past days.

Maybe it's because of Osamu. Because no matter what was happening Suna lo- has deep feelings for Osamu and they just come in different shapes and sizes. He could be feeling guilty because if he attempted, Osamu could try to do the same. And Suna was always unconsciously aware of that.

Osamu is what's keeping Suna alive and safe from self harm and suicide.

And Suna is just pushing him away like that.

But no matter how bad that situation was, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Another trait of his mother's.

He started to feel like a psychopath without anyone mentioning or asking. The dead, empty look on his face didn't even look exhausted, how Suna actually felt. Yes, he did feel dead and empty, but he felt it much more than he showed he did.

And Osamu was aware of all of that. He didn't know how his mother had acted, but he knew that Suna wouldn't pick up these antics from nowhere. It all made perfect sense, so Osamu didn't want to pry.

He was also perfectly aware that they're depending on eachother right now. And once that dependence dissapears, Suna will have nothing to rely on. He'll be an empty bag of memories made out of veins, bones and skin.

Osamu, however, started to feel angry. He knew he shouldn't, but he did. The fact that Suna isn't seeking for help when everyone knows he needs it, and is denying the tiniest gestures from everyone in the house, makes Osamu see red. He doesn't want Suna gone. Because if he's the first, the chain will most definitely continue on.

And that actually shows how much Osamu actually feels for Suna. They're on the same level of feelings.

Osamu is becoming even angrier, because everything reminds him of Suna. The couch that they fell asleep on many times together, the glasses that were identical to the one they once broke, the blankets they used for blanket forts... The list just goes on. Osamu hates how much he misses Suna's touch and presence.

Suna doesn't realize how much he actually misses Osamu. It reminded him of that one phrase: "We don't realize how much we actually need things in life until they're taken from us."

And that phrase took its effect on Suna when Osamu finally snapped.

It was early evening, and Suna politely declined the 4th offer of Osamu bringing him a glass of water.