Going Your Own Way, but with Magic

Chapter 15

I feel her before I see her. It's like shadows climb up the walls. I look at her out the corner of my eyes, like not making eye contact will do anything. She's wearing the same dress, still pristine white. She's lost weight and she was skeletal to begin with. Her fingernails are more like claws now. And I swear her teeth are sharper. Jamie is facing the wrong way. I don't want him to look. If he looks it becomes real. He opens his mouth, and I point. He's lost all his colour and he's shaking. It's the first time he's seen her and descriptions can only do so much. The room is crowded but no one's even glanced in her direction – their gazes slide off her. Some people have shivered a little and it's gone a bit quieter, but they're all talking like there's no one there. Maybe she's a ghost. Maybe we can ignore her. Maybe she's the monster under the bed and she'll go away if we don't think about her. She looks like a ghost when she crosses the room, faster than should be possible. She doesn't walk, she glides. We're both paralysed. She looks like a ghost when she smiles. She doesn't feel like a ghost when she grabs my face.

Her hands are bonier and her bones are more out of place. Her nails are cutting my cheek and rage is making her hiss. Jamie slashes at her in a desperate attempt to get her off me. She slams him into a wall without glancing in his direction. Good. Then she doesn't care about catching him. I have her full attention. That was quite a heroic thought. Guess I have my moments. I won't have many more. People are still going about their lives around us, even as blood (my blood but I'm going to scream unless I think of it as disembodied) starts to drip onto the sheets. She does have beautiful eyes. So blue. It's the only colour she has.
"You ran. You ran away from me. And now you're back." Her voice makes nails on a chalkboard sound like soft piano. "I'm going to kill you. I don't really want to." She sounds almost irritated, like I've ruined her Saturday by inconveniently needing to be murdered. "But you have to die. I'm sorry. They demand it. You crossed me, you tried to sabotage them. It's okay. Seldea is merciful. To children, especially." God brings the little children to his bosom, I guess. "And you've fought and struggled for so long. It'll almost be better this way, right? When you can be at peace?" Her eyes have softened. She's waiting for an answer. She wants me to tell her that it's okay. She wants me to make her feel better about killing her. Jamie has stood up and he's inching towards us. His face is a shade of grey and he's gripping a vase. I can't feel his magic. Or mine. He feels like a still. Everything is overwhelmed by the smoke. I gesture at him to run, to run goddamnit. He stays for a few torturous seconds, mouthing something. Leave, I mouth furiously. Stay alive. Finally, he does. Thank god. Oh, thank god. "I will find him, you know." I believe her. God help me, I believe her. Plan. Plan, I need a plan. I've been talking about plans for ages. Grand, elusive things. I need a plan right now. I need a tangible plan, a plan to stay alive.

"Your hair looks lovely. Do you use one of those personalised conditioners?" Great plan. I thought distraction and I thought flattery and didn't actually think at all, so that's what I said. Her hand relaxes. Only for a second, but it's time. I bought myself time. I try to wrestle my magic into waking, but it's slapped down by something dark. "Sorry, that was silly. I get so silly around people. Sometimes I feel like it makes them hate me." She nods sympathetically, like a bobblehead, but she doesn't let go. "I'm so sorry about the shop. All I wanted to do was get your attention."
"For what?" She tries to sound dismissive. She fails.
"For you to help me. I was- I wish I had stayed, but I was so scared. About everything." I make my voice falter, become a scared little girl outwardly while my insides turn to steel. "But to have someone, like you, someone who understands magic and isn't bound by silly rules, who can bend the world to her will like you can...someone like that teaching me would be a dream. I've always wanted a sister. We could- we could be like sisters." She lets go and I try to spin away. Handcuffs made of shadows trap me in about half a second, but there's something new in her eyes. Still hungry, but there's something more delicate. Something scared. My heart nearly softens. She wants a sister, a friend, someone to love. I can understand that. Then I wonder if the cashier was anyone's sister and I go cold again. I notice the tears running down my face with total detachment, and I tell myself it's on purpose. Keep up the act. That's bullshit, I'm crying. But we all lie to ourselves a bit, don't we?
"Sisters?" She tries out the word carefully. "We could be like sisters?" She's shaking more. I nod, trying to do puppy eyes. I don't have a particularly cute face, but I work with what I have. When she teleports us, there's definitely a flourish. She doesn't quite snap her fingers, but it's close.