I feel like we're falling apart or maybe that's just me, I am a mess
It's been about a week (or maybe half of one as I said I'm an absolute mess, I wouldn't know.) since Alina I split. I don't trust even myself to think about Alina anymore, I'll probably screw us up even more than we are if that's even possible. It's really sad to think about how high we fell from, my best friend to my lover to just a stranger. Of course, the fact that we're staying as such is entirely my fault. It's not like she hasn't tried to talk to me because she has, I'm not sure if she wants to apologize or fight, I haven't stuck around to listen. And I know I should, and I know I want to, so why can't listen to her? But instead of figuring that out I'm here at a bar getting drunk off my ass and brooding,
'Maybe I'll get in a fight tonight.'
I know it shouldn't be fighting to sooth my racing mind, But if not that what
'Alina'
Saints even though she's the I'm hurting for; I still want her.
' Wow that's pathetic' I thought to myself as I walked through the place grounds to her room
~*~
' I am the most pathetic bastard ever'
Still, I knock on her door. She surprisingly opens the door on the first knock as if sh'ed been up waiting for it. Relief floods her face, but it vanishes just as fast as it came.
"What? So, we're talking now?" she says with distain thick in her voice, but her eyes give her away.
" I hope so." I probably slurred. I can't hear myself over my heartbeat.
She rolled her eyes and nodded in her room. I took that as a sign and walked in then layed back on her bed. She joined him a second later, laying on her side instead to get a look at him. He did the same. She looked pretty much the same, dry black hair that he couldn't help wanting to run his fingers through, deep brown eyes with specs of gold if you look closely. But her skin was different, it was blotchy as it had been at Keramizan but now it had obviously been from crying and dark bags under her pretty brown eyes from restless nights. It hurt him to know he had caused her pain. He laced her fingers in his holding them close to his chest and kissed each finger, hoping she got the message.
"I missed you, I still do." He was sure she heard his slur now.
" I miss you too." She said inching his hands closer and kissing each of his fingers.
He got the message and pulled her into his arms. She relaxed into his touch immediately and used his chest as a pillow. He started drawing patterns into her skin, the same one over and over again until she fell asleep.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
