The city

BROKEN

Thank you to everyone reading i know the last chapter was a bit depressing but its part of Jessica and thats her personality. I love you my kittens xoxo .
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The song is broken by sether and amy lee

I watch as ryan trains. His muscles move in a beautiful rhythm. I think he noticed my presence he slowly turned around and called " Hey jessy." "Hey kiddo." He smiles a little "wana go get some food im hungry as fuck?" Hes always hungry "sure." I say and roll my eyes. He grads my hand and we walk into the changing room , we've been changing around each other for a while so this is nothing new. His back is like sand it's so tan and flawless is really the only way to describe it.

We walk to his motorcycle which happens to be my favorite thing to drive. "Can i drive please?" I try as hard as i can to look cute so he'll let me drive. "How could i say no to you... here's the keys." He drops the keys in my hand and gets on the back of the bike digging around for a helmet he passes me one. "Where are we going?" "Were going to olive garden, is that alright with you?" "Definitely i love pasta!" Food always puts a smile on my face. Olive gardens only 3 miles away and i like driving fast so we got there really quick. Ryan gets off first then helps me off  "thanks."  "anything for you princess." His words make me slightly blush. We walk in the smell of food is greeting us at the door before a host does. "Hello, how many will be in your party?" A girl about 19 looks us over and looks at Ryan for a moment to long. "Two, thanks ." I say before Ryan can say anything.

We were well into our dinner when a girl Ryan has a intrest in walks past. "Ryan?!" Her squeaky voice reminds me of one of the girl chipmunks on alvin and the chipmunks. She greets him with a hug "What are you doing here, i thought you left for the season?" One of Ryan's nitrous lies to get girls away from him. "Well i came back to see one of my friends." He obviously still has feelings for her , he wouldn't have called me that otherwise. "Well here's my number if you ever want to hang out again..." she hands him a piece of paper "well im almost done would youblike to hang out after this ?" He wiggles his eyebrows, it feels like someone kicked me in the chest a million times. I say my good byes to Ryan "see you later kiddo." He says, is that how he sees me. Am i not what he deserves, i know im not fucking perfect but neither is that slut back there. I start running in a directon i don't even know where , what i do know is theres tears falling from my eyes. I don't care anymore. I feel empty and broken . I end up at the bridge, the same idea to jump comes back . I sit on the edge and cry for everything. For my mother. For my father. For the love i wish i had . I cry.