Mother Nature ||| Bucky Barnes

27 | 𝐓𝐨 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝙰𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙰 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙵𝙵
2014, 𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛

The second Natasha and I left the Tower, she was silent. Silently thinking about how to approach the situation. I was terrified. I couldn't go on with this awkward atmosphere, so I made a very bold move. I spoke.

"Nat. We need to talk." I said quietly.

She snapped her head to look at me. "No. I'm going to talk. And for once, you're going to listen." She snapped.

I nodded, and she took it as a sign to start lecturing me. "I asked you one thing, to stay hidden and out of trouble. I gave you everything you needed, and you still went against me. I can't believe you spent over half a year lying to me. You told Sarah, you told Steve, but apparently telling your big sister was out of the question." She practically yelled sternly.

I sighed, before talking carefully. "Nat I hated lying to you like I did. I hated keeping my life secret from you. When he showed up, I didn't know what to do. He needed me."

Nat scoffed. "'He needed you?' Are you hearing yourself? You risked your whole life, everything for this murderer you met." She scolded me.

I raised my eyebrows, shocked at the words coming out her mouth. "Don't call him a murderer, Natasha. He didn't have a choice." I said, slightly raising my voice.

She matched my volume. "That's what he is, Alessia! A murderer. And he risked you. That's not okay with me."

"If he's a murderer, then so am I! I've killed too, in the same way, if not worse that he has. We've been through the same stuff, Natasha! You're calling him a murderer, then that's what you're calling me." I yelled.

She refused to meet my eyes. "I'm so, so sorry for lying to you and betraying your trust. There are so many things I could've done differently. I felt so alone, and it's not because of you. It the feelings of nobody understanding anything I went through. The nightmares that came, the fear. He did. I don't want to lose you, Tasha. I can't lose you. Not over this." I continued.

Natasha sighed deeply. "I know, Les. I know. I'm sorry." She finally said, reaching out to hold my hand.

We smiled weakly at each other and continued on the drive. I sat in the front seat with one hand on my necklace and the other around Natasha's.

After an hour of silence, Natasha started speaking. "What is it with him?" She asked.

I was confused. "Who?"

She looked at me. "Bucky. What is it that you like about him?" She clarified.

I thought for a while. What did I like about Bucky? I guess I liked the basic stuff girls like about guys, but there was something else about it. I couldn't describe it, but it made me feel safe in a way no one has before. "It's hard, Nat." Was all I said.

She wasn't satisfied. "What's hard?" She pushed.

"To describe a feeling."

❁

I don't know if Nat and I would ever be perfect, but we cared enough about each other to move past things. She promised me, and really promised me that she would be better about having contact. I promised not to lie. She also made me promise to be sure with Bucky. Be sure that it was worth it. Whatever that meant.