Fragments of A Broken Heart (Completed)

X. Notice Me

Bimasena finally stayed because both he and Lusiana couldn't say goodbye to each other. But even so, Lusiana has still felt a mixed feeling: was it, love? Or only curiosity? Even so, they wouldn't stop being honest to each other while they were refusing the idea that they love each other.

Nevertheless, Lusiana still felt a little bit in limbo. It was due to the relationship Bimasena had with his girlfriend. Did she want that? Was she meddling? Was it okay for both to talk sweet to each other?

The limbo Lusiana felt had been inevitable because, in the end, Bimasena was not hers...

She couldn't talk about it to anyone because she was shy admitting she had a small affair with someone. Yet, Bimasena was someone she couldn't just leave without any proper goodbye. The first reason because Lusiana had never been leaving anyone. The second reason was that she couldn't stop thinking what a weird coincidence to meet three Bimas one time and another.

Also, 2021 was harsh for Lusiana. She just needed a friend...

But was it only what she wanted?

One night, Lusiana saw Bimasena's Snapgram: a birthday wish from Bimasena's ex-girlfriend.

Wait, ex-girlfriend?

Yes, several days before that night, Bimasena told Lusiana that his relationship was over. Lusiana felt sad for him, but she couldn't stop herself from feeling a little bit happy.

What a tragedy.

Lusiana didn't realize she had hope for being Bimasena's new girlfriend. They both were lonely, and they shared each other's Spotify playlist. So, what was stopping them?

Yes, it was his ex's congratulations for Bimasena.

No, it wasn't unique, yet Lusiana couldn't stop overthinking why Bimasena still reshared her Snapgram. She thought they were over so, why bothered to share your ex's Snapgram?

Lusiana was intrigued to share a Snapgram about his birthday too. But then her smartphone showed something she never believed.

Today December 2nd, 2021: Bimasakti's birthday.

She was so fixated on Bimasenas that she didn't realize he shared the same birthday date with Bimasakti. What a coincidence, wasn't it? Why did Lusiana meet two people with the same name and birth date? Or was it probably Bimasena was the one for her?

Perhaps she should make a congratulation for Bimasena too, she thought to herself. Then she made it, but she only shared it with several people, including Bimasena. He replied to the Snapgram directly.

But Bimasena did not reshare it...

Lusiana should have seen it coming, yet still, it was painful to watch someone you liked have feelings for somebody else. She didn't want to admit her feelings, but those feelings ate her up until the next day: she couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she didn't want to do anything, and somehow a spark inside of her soul was burning up. Was she jealous? Yes. But why? Why would she be jealous of something silly like that?

On the fifty-second time Lusiana thought about the bloody Snapgram, she realized. But was it matter to say it to him?

At the same time, an apology from Aulia had landed on Lusiana's phone. Finally. They talked about Lusiana's feelings, and then she asked Aulia what she should do.

You have to tell him.

Had she? But probably it was best to be said rather than unheard.

'Mas, I want to be honest with you. I have a crush on you. Perhaps it's love. I don't know when I have this feeling. Maybe when I swiped right when I saw your account, or when we talked the first time over a WhatsApp video call that evening. My feelings for you are the closest form of the love they talk about in the books: as fresh as a morning dew when a cool autumn breeze first wipes away your sadness and takes away your breath. Even after you told me about your complicated relationship, I cannot stop thinking about the possibility between us. Maybe I'm stupid for loving you, or perhaps I'm a cruel person for hoping you would leave your ex-girlfriend for me. But I'm seriously the stupidest one when I felt jealous over her Snapgram that you reshared, while you didn't do that for my Snapgram. And this is only my unsaid feelings...'

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