The Death Note

4 // Charlie

I walk up to the wooden door and knock softly.
I've arrived in England, and come to the address that was on the envelope. Now I'm here, I've no idea what to say to whoever opens the door. I don't know the name of the person I'm looking for, or anything about them, except their age and that they're committing suicide today. I can't just say 'hello, is anyone in this house planning to end their life today?'
The door opens, and a woman appears behind it. She looks in her late forties, and has mousy brown hair that is starting to go grey, green eyes, and she's just shorter than me.
"Hello," she says in a soft voice.
"Hello," I reply, "Um, I'm Charlie." I hold out my hand for her, and she shakes it.
"Hello Charlie, er, why are you here?"
"Uh...This is going to be a bit weird, and I'm really sorry, but, um, do you know anything about this?" I ask, and hold out the letter for her to read.
As her eyes get the end of the paper, they close, and I can tell she's trying not to cry.
"I'm sorry," I say, not really knowing what to do.
She squeezes her eyes together for a second longer, then wipes and opens them.
"Oh...I'm sorry, I suppose you should come in," she says quietly.
"Thank you, sorry, what's your name?"
"Heather. Heather Wellford."
"Thank you Heather."

We go into the house, and Heather leads me through into their sitting room. There is a tall man with greying red hair and blue eyes sitting on one of the leather sofas.
"George, this is Charlie," Heather says to the man, who I assume is her husband. "He says that, he uh, Charlie please can you show..."
"Of course," I say, and hand George the letter. He has the same reaction as his wife. When he gets to the end, he closes his eyes and whispers, "Oh, Liliana..." And a few tears leak out of his eyes and down his face.
Heather sits does next to him, and they lean into each other, silent.
I feel a lump in throat, and I rub my eyes. I feel a bit awkward with these people I don't know, who, I assume, have just lost someone they love.
"Sit down, Charlie," George says in a hoarse voice.
I sit down on an armchair, and wipe my eyes.
"How you did you get this note?" He asks.
"I got it in the post yesterday," I reply.
"Do you know our daughter?" Heather asks.
Their daughter. She must be about my age, I realise. These people are about the same age as my parents!
"No, I had no idea who it was from at all, apart from their address and their age, which was on the front if the envelope." I say.
They fell silent for a while. Then Heather voiced the question we were all wondering.
"Why did she send it to you? I mean, you don't even sound English!" She paused, then added "Nothing against that, of course."
"No, no problem," I say. "I'm American. No clue why she sent it to me."
Another silence.
"Why did you come here, all the way from America, if you don't know her?" George says.
"Because...I don't know really. I just felt that since I had the letter and I knew about it, I don't know, I couldn't sit at home doing nothing."
"Oh...Charlie," Heather says, with a sad smile, "You sweet boy!"
I pause, then say the thing that had been bothering me since I arrived.
"Has, has she, um, I mean, is she...?" I fade away, not wanting to speak the words 'is she dead'. But they understand what I want to ask.
"For now, she's still with us. But only just." Heather replies hesitantly. I feel a slight sense of relief. At least this girl still has a chance.
"She's in hospital currently, with serious injuries. She won't wake up, and they're not sure if she'll live through it or not," George says. A tear falls down his face.
"Miracle she didn't die on the impact of the jump, really." Heather says quietly.
There is a pause, and then George covers his face with his hands and starts to shake. Heather strokes his back, and tears fall down her face. I feel a drop of water on my knee, and realise I'm crying too. After a moment, George wipes his eyes and sits up.
"I'm sorry," he stutters in a hoarse voice. "It's just hard, knowing that she was so upset that she would do that to herself, and we didn't," he pauses, "we didn't even know." He wipes the tears away, but more fall.
"We knew she was depressed, but we didn't realise quite how much," Heather explains, "We should have realised." She rubs her eyes.
"It's all our fault..." George whispers from under his hands.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, both of you," I say softly, "It's not your fault. Not many people notice how bad things are."
"Still....we should have helped her," George says.
"I'm sure you did all you could," I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. Seeing them crying makes me want to break down too, but I fight it. I need to help these people. "Sometimes there's no stopping it."
There is a silence, filled only with occasional sniffs from George. Heather seems better at keeping her feelings in, but I don't doubt she's just as upset.
"Charlie?" Heather asks.
"Yes?"
"How old are you?"
"16."
"You came here by yourself?"
"Yes."
"Do your parents know your here?"
"...no," I say hesitantly.
"I think you should tell them."
"No, they'll under-"
"No. You need to tell them." Heather interrupts firmly.
"Okay then, fine," I say, not wanting to argue with her.
I get out my phone and dial home.
"Hello? Charlie?"
"Hi mum," I say, "Um, I'm in England," I finish awkwardly.
"WHAT?!" She shouts from the other end.
"Mum, I can explain-"
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
"I got a letter, and I-"
"YOU ARE GROUNDED! WHAT POSSESSED YOU?"
"No, mum please-"
"CHARLIE SELLHAM YOU HAD BETTER COME BACK HOME RIGHT NOW!"
"Mum, listen-"
"NOW!!"
I turn and look apologetically at Heather and George, who are watching me. They can hear the whole conversation, she's yelling so loud.
"Shall I have a chat with her?" Heather offers.
"Please," I say, and hand the phone over.

* * * *

I lie in my bed, thinking. It's 1:04am, but I can't sleep.
I have two more days in England, and then I have to go home, or my mum will explode. I think I want to visit Liliana (as learnt was her name), but I don't know whether I want to see her with all her injuries, and whether she'll want me to see her, since she doesn't know me. I don't know her. I feel like I know her though, as Heather and George have told me all about her.
It's weird. Two days ago, I was happy in America with my girlfriend, with nothing to worry about except school.
Now I'm in England, with a letter from someone I don't know, staying in a house owned by people I only met today, and worrying about a girl in hospital who I've never met.
Thinking of my girlfriend, I should really let her know I'm okay.
I get out my phone, find her number and send a text:

Hi Sadie,
I'm in England. Found house successfully. People are friendly, so I'm sleeping here.
I'll call you soon and tell you more x
Charlie

Then I switch off my phone, and slip into a deep sleep full of distorted dreams including Sadie jumping off buildings and anonymous girls lying on pavements with cracked skulls.
I wake up multiple times drenched in sweat, and eventually give up with sleep at 6, and just lie, staring at the ceiling.

A U T H O R' S N O T E

Yay she's alive!
This chapter was a bit teary, sorry :( but you met Heather and George, so it's not all bad :)
Allllso, the chapters are getting longer! Woo! Ceeeelebrate good times come on! Doo do doo do do....

Emma 🍄