Helltaker X fem reader

Lucifer: Can you cook?

After making the mistake of trying to sleep in Helltaker's luxury bed (you hadn't realised they all slept in the same bed, go figure), you finally got an hour of sleep before the sounds of scratching and the occasional yap come from just behind the door. You watch the door like a deer in headlights, afraid of what they may do to you.
"C'mon, Y/N, let us iiinnnnn."
"Yeah, Y/N, we just wanna playyy."
Cerberus had to be the worst to humour, given their evil and mischievous nature. Plus they were trying to sniff your butt in a very not subtle manner all of the time you've been here, and you were not into revealing your sexuality THAT way.
"Ugh, Cerberus, go somewhere else. Leave the poor thing alone." You hear Lucifer's tired morning voice from behind the door, followed by Cerberus' fading giggles as they scamper off. You feel a little relieved she's here, she's actually quite accommodating, and isn't completely insane.
"Come on, Y/N. Time to get up, you don't want to be the only one without pancakes." Huh. You could go for pancakes. But first, clothes. At least more than underwear.

After getting into some red pyjamas, courtesy of the harem's wardrobe (you were not expecting to be around people in the mornings), you followed Lucifer into the kitchen, noting Malina already drinking, Judgement arm wrestling Justice, and modeus blushing furiously at her romantic comedy, all at 8 in the morning. Caffeine is going to be your best friend the next year. Speaking of which, you were still going to have to have that talk with them. That'll be rough...
"Hey, you zoned out on me. Something on your mind?"
Ah, right. Kitchen.
"Sorry, just still getting used to all this I guess. Less the demon part, more the fact Helltaker left me in charge of you instead of just living a man's dream life."
She chuckles, passing you an apron. "Yes, he is rather childish, even for someone as... impressive as he is. Speaking of which, if you want to at least put yourself in the role of the housekeeper that Helltaker held, you'll have to help with the pancakes."
"Ah, right. A thing I totally know how to do..." You've hardly ever done pancakes before, and even if you did, you had no idea how they liked them.
"Don't worry, that's what I'm here to help with. Now, first measure..."

After about 30 minutes, you had several plates of pancakes rolled up with chocolate spread piled up. It was impressive how much they eat.
"Phew, do you do this every day?"
"Mmm, yes, after all, why should demons eat healthy if we aren't mortal?" Lucifer says through a mouthful of pancake. She looks very pleased, so hopefully making meals should be good for settling them down (cough, cerberus, cough).
"How the hell does Taker afford all this then? I mean, the pantry is just stuffed with chocolate spread and stuff, and I'm pretty sure looking after you all is impossible with a job."
"The businesses of hell are quite lucrative, and being the CEO does make me a form of sugar mommy, as iffy as that term is..." She frowns a little at that. It's quite apparent she wasn't the one who came up with that.
"Oh, so enough to afford all the food and taxes?" This makes Lucifer look at you in slight confusion, like she's processing something.
"Oh, you don't realise what the businesses in hell are. Well, you sort of do, to be fair..."
"What does that mean?"
"How do you think all the big companies get so successful?"
"I knew it! I knew they were evil!" It takes you a second to put two and two together. Lucifer is smirking by the time it dawns on you.
"... Holy shit, you rich."
"Indeed. It certainly makes things more manageable, such as hospital bills, bribing the police, keeping everything paid for... But, to be quite clear, I'm not at all interested in spending all of it on lavish luxuries. I mean, we don't have to be in Taker's old house, but..." she looks away, wistfully, thinking about the next words to come out of her mouth, as though they hold some form of importance. You don't like it when she looks like this, down for even a mere moment, and so you wait for her to finish her sentence, in suspense.
"... Sigh, after a while, the money just... loses value. Personal value, like those feelings of sentimentality that only you feel in things, like places or souvenirs. Nothing I could buy would grant me that value, so I never spent it for myself. Even now, I more spend it for the others, than I do for myself. I had hoped after our initial fun with Taker, that we could settle down. Be in real relationships, at least with me. He... Well, he's shown how ready he was for that, now didn't he?"
"... To be honest, I don't understand it really."
She looks at you with an indignant shock, offense even. "Well- What do you mean you don't understand it?! What's so hard to grasp about wanting to be in a relationship, even as a demon?!"
"Oh, not that, Lucifer! I meant I don't understand him. I mean, he's supposed to be tougher than me, and yet he flees from you without even a goodbye?"
"O-oh... Right. I apologise for that outburst..." she looks to her left, a slight blush of embarrassment on her cheeks.
"Heh, no need. Honestly, I don't mind the idea of being in a serious relationship, or any kind to be honest. You all seem quite nice."
"Well, it's nice of you to say that."
She watches you keenly, a smug grin slowly creeping on her face. Why that is, you don't get, I mean, what, is it something you said or-
"... Fuck."

"Yes, Y/N. Fuck, indeed. It took you... A day or so to let that slip out? Honestly, I'm still impressed you kept it as long as that, you were a gay mess this whole time."
"Wait, what?! You knew before that?!" She shakes her head, suppressing a chuckle.
"Of course I did. It's not hard when you know the signs, especially if you've had them too."
Wait... Are you dreaming? Did you mishear her? She couldn't mean... No, right? (A/N: useless lesbians, episode 1)
"... You mean, like you've lived with someone into women?"
"No, Y/N, I mean lived as someone into women. I'm pretty sure everyone in this harem, maybe even hell, swings in ways you can't even imagine. In the binary type of swing, of course we all are. After all, we're demons. Lust is literally one of our 7 key values, how are we supposed to be picky?"
Wow. That's kinda obvious now, when you think of it that way. You can only imagine how much of a red flustered mess you are right now. How embarrassing...
"Don't worry though," she says, putting her hand on you shoulder. "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too. It won't exactly be easier, per say, if the girls think you're now an option, rather than a target."
"U-umm... Thanks, Lucifer, that means a lot..."
"Luci."
"... What?"
"You can call me Luci. No need to be so formal now, is there?"
If there is ever a time to be happy, you think being on a nickname basis with the devil is one of them. You can't help but smile wildly in happiness.
"Aww, thanks Luci. Also, there's something I wanted to tell you, before we go and give out breakfast."
"Oh, and what would that be dear?"
"Helltaker isn't actually gone for good. He's, uhh... Coming back after a year."
She pauses. "I can always buy the mortgage off of him. Or set Judgement, Justice and Cerberus on him if he tries to come back."
"... Hot."
"I try." She replies with a wink. Your heart skips a beat or two before pounding in your chest. Now that you know they might warm up to you, you're gonna have to spend some more time... Ahem, reigning yourself in... You then proceed to have a near equally stressful day of surviving the house of demons, but at least with the queen of them by your side, holding your hand here and there.

She also had to play keep away with your body when the harem learnt that helltaker wasn't going back for a while. Again, quite a stressful day.

A/N note:
Thank you so much for reading! I really hope these stories are enough to entertain you, and I'll keep doing my best to bring you wholesome demon fluff stories. Bye everyone-

"Hey, just wanted to drop by and give you the good news!"

Who-who the hell are you?

"Oh, I'm just the demon sent to make sure this fanfic is up to code. Axu, by the way."

That's an odd name, and also... What

"It's a nickname, one that's pronouncable by humans, so that helps. There's going to be lewd stuff in this, right?"

Why would I write lewd stuff, this is wholesome fluff!

"... Yeah, about that..."

Sigh... I'll see what I can do... See you all soon!