CARMEN THINKING - THE SOUND INSIDE A SEASHELL PART 1

INNOCENCE

April 23, 2014

memories of a hand in mine
was that not how it always started?

an innocent touch
a promise that it won't go farther
but how do you resist
how do you turn your face
from the most familiar kiss
from the very first lips

a memory of time dragging
and then flying
how did we get here?

it's like pink stains color the air around us
as though the sun shines but not quite right
like the wind blows differently when you're near
like it's supposed and its not...

am I fighting the inevitable
or chasing a phantom

was it ever really innocent?

FOUND...

April 24, 2014

even in the endless moments of discontent and no feeling right
I find you
and find my hand in yours

what did I do with it
where was my hand
how did it survive
before you
there is no
before you
all there is
is you
and
me
your hands
those hands
that can save me from drowning
every time
all the time
for all time

even in the endless moments of discontent and no feeling right
I find you
and find my hand in yours
and yours in mine...

NO TEARS ON THIS ISLAND, NO ENVY

April 24, 2014

see the gifts they give themselves
an overwhelming world of wealth
and outside a little girl
cries
she works so hard
she gives her all
but nothing
yes nothing can fix her
uplift her
but her

she see's the waste
she turns her face
she will do better
the day she is in their place
a promise of her soul
to her pocket
a color of truth upon her little heart
and everything else little about her
for it won't be little long
she won't be little long

one day
one day
one day

you will look at her
and
say
"STRONG"

NOT ALL HUGS ARE THE SAME

April 25, 2014

not all hugs are the same

I know a hug
a "holding"
that takes my breath just thinking about it
don't want to let go
please don't let this end
can I stay here forever?
in these arms
with my head on this chest
with my arms around this neck
with your arms around my waist
frozen in time
yet wrapped in a warmth that's fire
pure fire
trying not to burn out
but refuse to let go
the smell of you
the sound of your heartbeat
the fragrance of my heart
the music of my soul
don't need to eat
don't even need to breath
just need to stand here
with you
breathing you in
taking you in
inside my very soul
inside my past
my future
my right now this very second
I hold you
I hold still
a butterfly has rested on my hand
can't move
can't let it fly away

ALONE IN THE RUINS...

April 25, 2014

we lived here
we loved here
we grew here
we were here
I look at the ruins
I cry in the ruins
I hear the lost voices of children who once played here
we were true here
until war came through here
what takes years to build
a simple act, a careless act
can ruin ruin ruin in moment
in a moment
all was lost here
you were no longer found here
I know you've left here
yet I still wait here
here is all I am
here is all I know
here is where I remember happy

AN HOUR IN THE SHOWER...

April 25, 2014

cleanse me of my love for you
clean my thoughts of this need
I have kisses imprinted on my very soul
I have the touch of your hands in mine for all time
let the rushing water of my "break away" wash me
wash me clean
make me new
let me find a me
that does crave you
don't let it remind me
don't let this love any longer bind me
I step into the shower of its over"
and look for a release
wash over me
rush over me
move me to a place where it no longer hurts
I break free
I tear off my skin
as my tears drown me
why can I never ever win