Roman's Angel

Chapter 31

He woke up with his head pounding, everything a blur at first. Beams of sunlight shined through the curtains, the only source of light in the room he was in. He couldn't remember if anything had happened after he had fell asleep at his friend's house, or whether if he had made back home to Roman. Dean groans, trying to sit up but feels some pain coming from where there shouldn't any, unless if he asked for it rough and with no prep, no lube. His clothes are still on, except for his jeans. He is wearing only his t-shirt and boxers. Something feels weird down there, and he notices that it's dried blood. He has dried blood coming from his crotch area, and he tries to remember what had happened last night.

He is confused, scared about what could have happened last night. He's not for sure if he left Sami's house, whether if his friend had driven him back home or if he left on his own. If he had left on his own, he fears that he might have ended up in a pretty bad situation, might have gotten assaulted, which would explain the pain he is feeling down there. For a moment, he recognize his surroundings and almost starts to panic, thinking he might have been kidnapped, perhaps by his stepdad. For all he knows, he could have been out of prison by now and might have came after him. He feels a sense of fear overtaking him once again, as he realizes that if that was the case, there would be no escape for him, because he is for sure that the door would locked.

But he starts to recognize where he is. The posters on the walls, the pictures, the clothes on the floor, some other various items. On the nightstand next to the bed is an ashtray full cigarette butts. The room smells of cheap alcohol, pot, and someone else in the room, sitting in a chair besides the bed, is smoking a cigarette, playing some old, depressing, alternative music. Dean turns over slowly onto his other side, seeing his friend, Sami. He looks terrible. He is in some sort of drugged out state of mind, staring at him. His eyes look dead and tired, and it is as if he doesn't see Dean or he doesn't want to face the fact that he did something terrible to him, betrayed his trust. He is a mess, a complete mess.

For a few seconds, besides the music that plays, there is complete silence in the room, as he stares at him. He doesn't have anything to say to him, and he doesn't want to know what happened the night before. But he knows he can't avoid or hide from it. He needs to confront Sami about what he did. He wants to know why. He doesn't know whether if he was drugged, forced, or had a drunken one night stand.

"Sami," He speaks quietly, his voice empty of emotion, no malice or hatred behind it but no love and care either. Sami doesn't respond, just continues to smoke, still staring at Dean with that blank expression.

"Sami," He repeats, louder, more demanding this time. Slowly, he begins to sit up in his friend's bed. His head pounds once again. He places his right hand on his head, clutching at his hair, wincing from the pain.

"S-Sami," He speaks once more. He seems to have got his attention, noticing him twitching a little and gritting his teeth. Hearing the person he cared deeply the most about but hurt, made him angry at himself. He hears Dean's voice again, hating how broken it sounds.

"Tell me it's not true. Please, tell me you didn't..." Panic starts to rise up in him again. He doesn't want to believe it, but he knows the answer.

"I'm sorry..." Sami looks down, putting his cigarette out in a glass filled up with dirty water and other butts in it. The words feel like a knife plunging right into Dean's chest, cutting so deep, twisting and hurting him. He can't believe it, that Sami would betray him like this, take advantage of him when he was drunk and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," Sami whispers, placing his head in his hands and clutching at his hair. "I didn't want to...Not like this..."

"Stop saying you're sorry!" Dean snaps, gritting his teeth in anger. "You don't get to say you're sorry. Not after what you did."