Breathe Me

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Samuel

I WOKE WITH a start, my heart hammering in my chest. It'd been just a dream, the same dream of the past, of Catherine, I'd always have. The one where I watched her heart crush under the lies I'd told her as I wrapped my arms around the wrong girl. It was a memory etched so deeply into my brain , I couldn't rip it out even though I'd wanted to for years and years. Having Cathy back in my life, even taking care of my son, Cam , was heaven sent, but my fear of losing her again was still there. Sitting up in the dim light of early morning, I rubbed my face and scratched my head. Cam was sleeping in his room just down the hall, but the longing to have Piper there with me hit me like a freight train. I didn't want to rush the relationship, but I was running out of time once more. She was worth waiting for, but I wanted more now, and I was sure she was not ready for that yet.

I pulled open the drawer of my nightstand and plucked out a dark velvet box. Running my fingers over the smooth surface, I eased it open and studied the shiny diamond ring sitting in it. I'd had it for years. It had been my mother's engagement ring, and I'd wanted to give it to Catherine so many times in college, but the uncertainty of the future had held me back, and it'd been my downfall in the end.

I shut the box and replacing it in the drawer. I knew that this time, she'd have it. This time, I wouldn't hesitate when the time was right to slip it onto her finger. I did not want to wait; I would have rushed over to her place and done it immediately if I'd known she was willing. It was getting closer to that time I would ask her. I just didn't want her to take it the wrong way when she found out about my immigration issues. I should've taken care of that ages ago, but I never did, and eventually it had crept back up on me again, like a scorpion, stinging me in the ass.

I'd ask her after my upcoming trip to Moldova. I didn't want her to believe the only reason I'd want to marry her was for permanent status in the US. I wanted her to know how much I loved her and to wear the ring proudly, without apprehension. I wanted to do it right, without any other reason but love. I had fixed my visa after college, saved by my cousin Vance, who had been part owner of the county fair even back then. If I'd known he'd be able to get me back to the States so quickly after spending a summer back in Moldova, I would've never had to hurt Catherine the way I did, never have pushed her away. It had all been for nothing. So many ways to screw up life and only a few to keep it on track!

Leaning back on my pillow to see if I could catch a few more hours of sleep, I figured I'd find a way this time to solve these issues, ask her to marry me and make things right. Once married, I wouldn't have to worry about being deported again and leaving my son behind with his grandmother. The looming trip to Moldova gnawed at me, and I hoped that it would go as planned, and I could return to her loving arms and my son's life sooner rather than later.

I hoped.