Breathe Me

Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

THE SUN FELT like hot, molten lava melting my skin and burning it as I lay out by the pool. I didn't care. I had smothered SPF 2000 all over myself in preparation. It was one of many hazards of living in hell on earth-Las Vegas-in the middle of summer.

I was feeling morose. No one could accuse me of being a social butterfly, especially when I seemed to be one of the only people not in the swimming pool or chatting around the food laid out for Joss's Fourth of July party. Everyone and their mother was there, but I was just not into it today, especially not after leaving my job like I had yesterday. Still in shock from it, I couldn't believe I'd walked out, quitting after almost three years working there as an exemplary employee. I'd finally had enough. Somehow, knowing it had been my choice did almost nothing to make me feel more secure. Life was spinning out of control, and I was being dragged along with it.

"Hey there, pretty lady," a familiar voice twanged from my left side, making me turn and shield my eyes from the intensity of the bright sun's glare. Spotting Sam's charming smile as he took up the lawn chair next to me, I attempted a sorry, halfhearted smile.

"You look like your dog died. What's up?" he inquired, taking a long sip from a red Solo cup filled with soda, or maybe liquor. Who knew? Mine was empty. I'd had two Midori Sours already, and it wasn't even noon yet.

"Not really in the festive mood, I guess."

"It's Fourth of July. Firecrackers, coconut sunblock lotion and drunk swimming? What's not to like?"

I snickered, sitting up from my slouched position, and observed the guys jumping off the diving board in the most contorted ways they could imagine. I was pretty sure they were blasted already and weren't even close to finishing their drinking spree. This was like a college party all over again. Where the hell had Joss met these people?

"Yeah, terrible fun. I feel suddenly like an old maid at some fraternity party."

Sam choked on his drink and coughed, laughing through the fit. "You could never be an old maid. Got to stay young at heart, right? Kind of reminds me of good old times." His smile faded as he noticed my ever-increasing frown. "Alright, it's a bit immature for everyone to be losing it just because it's a national holiday, but you have to loosen up a bit. What's going on?"

I sighed, blinking as the pool water reflected the harsh sunlight. "I quit my job yesterday."

The silence felt almost as unbearable as his incessant chatter had been, making me turn to make sure he was still sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry. Mind if I ask why?"

I shook my head and rolled my empty cup between my sweaty palms. "Had enough. People are so abusive at the hospital, everyone thinks I'm either there to get yelled at or stepped on or blamed for things not going right. They were going to demote me to secretary, and I was not going to stand for it. I walked out. I should consider myself lucky since three of my other coworkers were axed. It's so not worth it anymore."

"Well, then that's good you left. You don't deserve to be treated so badly."

"The thing is," I sat up, taking a deep breath as I chewed on my lip, "I don't know why I didn't think it through. I'm terrified. I've never not worked, I've always had a plan and security to focus on. What the hell do I do now?"

"Do you have savings?"

I nodded.

"Good. Find something you love. There's no better time than now, when things look hopeless, to pursue your dreams. Remember what makes you happy."