Breathe Me

Chapter-3

Chapter Three

Samuel

In the Past…

MEMORIES SCENTED WITH beer and pizza smells wafting around the fraternity house like they’d embedded themselves into the walls and furniture, filling my head with so many past parties and times gone by. I held a plastic cup of alcohol, but it remained, for the most part, untouched. The music made the walls vibrate and the picture frames moved with the beat. Nothing could have put me in a festive mood that day, not even having Catherine in the same room, because what I had to do was like asking me to hack off an arm. She was chatting it up with a group of girls. I didn’t know any of them, but were groupies of some of the guys in the house. Some of them were already blasted while others were off in dark corners with some of the guys, lost in deep, passionate embraces as they nearly consumed each other. All I could think about was Catherine, the way she laughed, the way her dark brown hair fell into her face and how she was constantly but uselessly shoving it behind her ears. No one here was like her. No one had my heart but this one woman. And I was about to break hers into a thousand tiny little shards.

My visa had expired, and as soon as I graduated, I’d have to leave the US and try to return one way or another. They’d refused to grant me another since I still hadn’t gotten a job. I needed a job to stay, but it was madness how they ran things at the Immigration department. They’d been less than helpful. Once I left, I wasn’t sure how long it’d be before they’d let me return.

Eyeing her pink lips as they moved to whatever she was adding to the conversation, I wanted to rush across the room, sweep her up and make love to her one more time before smashing her heart to bits. It’d be better this way, at least that’s what I’d told myself. If I told her the truth about leaving, she’d want to go with me and not finish her college degree. I couldn’t let that happen, she had so much going for her. I couldn’t be the one to hold her back like that, even if I was madly in love with her.

“Hey, you.” Catherine slipped her arms around my waist. I had been so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t realized she had made her way across the room toward me. “You’re looking mighty glum for being at a party.” Her lips found their way across my neck, and I felt the edges of her teeth nip my earlobe. It sent an electrifying jolt through me, and I had to hold up my hands and step back slightly. The hurt in her eyes killed me.

“Catherine, I….I”

“What’s wrong?”

I gulped. I had to do it. I had to.“I………I don’t want you anymore.”

She stared at me, stunned and unable to even form words. I felt like was going to hell for doing this. It was so wrong, so wrong.

“What are you doing?” She managed to choke out after a moment.

“I want to see other people.”

A lie.

“What? How can you say that?”

“I… I’m not feeling this anymore.”