Alucard that creepy guy at Hellsing..
Warnings:⚠️ this bit of rubbish may leave you to retching from horrendous bad humor.
•~•°¤°•~•
~Friday afternoon 2 p.m.~
Anne turns to you,"You're not seriously taking a job at that place??"
"What place? Hellsing?" you sound more confused than anything. "It's an assistant job and the starting wage is phenomenal."
"No, that's a hazard pay until you mysteriously disappear," Anne looks expectantly. "They say there are a lot of unexplained deaths and that Hellsing just buries the bodies in the basement!"
"You know John Wayne Gacy is dead? Nobody puts dead bodies in their basement. First place the police investigate..."(Y/n) states in a very stern voice.
"That American serial killer?" Anne blinks her eyes.
(Y/n) rolls their eyes, "Yes the killer clown that killed 33 males and stashed them under his crawl space."
"Eee...that's just nasty, " Anne plugs her nose as she can smell the past.
"He was a serial killer," you roll your eyes even. "Well this has been...enlightening."
"No! Wait!" Anne is extremely animated now. "There is a really creepy guy that works and lives at Hellsing full time!"
"Does the creepy guy have a name or is it just the Boogeyman?"(Y/n) huff.
"Oh it is Al!"
"AL? That doesn't conjure up much fear," as you now finish your (favorite iced drink). "Al just doesn't scream scary to me."
"Oh no! It's to lull you into letting your guard down," she responds.
"So do you have a description of this scary Al?" you smirk.
"Well he's like seven feet tall and chalky white for the color of his skin," Anne frowns. "You need not take that job!"
"So he is the boogeyman by that description..actually that really makes him tall for a Hobgoblin. Maybe he's Mr. Slender?" you sigh. "You watch too many horror movies like Saw and the Conjuring. Is one of his hands a hook?"
"It gets worse I tell you!" she states now. "He has big demonic hand cannons!"
"Well that is much deadlier than a big hook," you mutter. "But how does he use the bathroom?"
"Oh my God (Y/n)! That's what comes to mind?" Anne's voice is getting louder.
"Well speaking of that, how do you cum when your hands are hand cannons? The fine manipulation would be horrendous. Think about his aim for the toilet too.."
"Are you crazy?" Anne says loudly.
She turns to a couple twenty year olds, "Hey! Ever heard of Hellsing?"
"Oh God!" in a thick Scottish accent. Then he starts crossing his chest as Catholics do. Little did you know he was the young nephew of Judeus priest named Father Anderson.
"Oh the scary manor with the creepy man that dresses in red. I think his name was Al something..."the other young man answered. "You couldn't pay me a million pounds to work there. It's dreadfully haunted."
"So the really tall boogeyman really likes the color red and his name is Al something..." you rub your temples.
At this rate you are going to have a splitting headache. It's time to hit the road for the scary manor called Hellsing to the creepy Al something. You figure you can always resign if the work environment is too much to handle.
YOU ARE READING
Crimson Mist (Alucard Hellsing)
Fanfictie(🍋)This is a collection of my Alucard one shot, head cannons, and such. There is new material from Alucard's head cannons book. This is for those who prefer only Alucard and not his first form of Vlad. .It is strictly Alucard Hellsing, some spice...
