his hands tightened upon the rim of the sink, a trickle of the shower stained the room. though the dripping had been slow, it had gone on for some time, small droplets fell onto the ageing tiles. the noise magnified like it was within a cocoon, yet karma's breathing began suffocating it, slowly building deep within his lungs. he was conscious of the rumble building within his chest. he panted before a fist came into contact with his cheek.
the stun sizzled, before he attempted to gaze back at his reflection. his mercury eyes only traced the pretty patina upon its bronze frame. the glass was made all the more charming by its black freckles. that is as, when his eyes met the centre of the glass, he only met a faded black cloud.
he couldn't recognise himself
his eyes traced down to his shoulders, to the scratches etched into his skin. his thirst wasn't limited to water anymore, perhaps the pain or blood was more fulfilling for his instincts. blood was the only thing that reminded him that he was alive anymore.
his eyes followed the cheap red lines upon what was once a blank canvas. well, blank apart from the swollen damage from the escape, ones he neglected to tell nagisa about. we can't make him worry though.
a knife wound dashed across his chest, as well as the trickles of skin occasionally threaded with faded silvery ribbons.
nothing hurt.
no matter how deep he cut. nothing hurt. he tried everything to make something painful but- nothing hurt.
the drug began blocking his pain receptors. attempting for him to be able to withstand more pain. perhaps that might be a good thing, however, this meant blending in with normal people was becoming more impossible. you don't really think about that, huh?
even months later, karma's body was finding it difficult to adjust. throwing random objects when he expected them to be heavier, burning himself on accident and not catering to it- and overall having a much higher thirst for bloodlust. just no matter how hard he tried, it kept getting harder to be normal again.
normal people are so obsessed with that word, and perhaps karma was too- was he considered- normal? what even is normal considered to be-
conforming to a standard?
the usual, typical or expected?
was any of... this... expected- anyways?
"hey karma- are you done having a shower?" nagisa yelled, knocking his knuckles against the door.
karma grasped the towel, wrapping it around his waist, a small alert of panic flushed through him as his feet scurried against the ground, his voice crumbled as he plummeted the nonnormality into his chest.
"uh- yeah." he coughed, unlocking the door, he leant upon the frame, "i'll get dressed then we can head ou-"
he really didn't think about this.
"shit." karma laughed, watching nagisa's eyes immediately gaze at the red. "i'll put on bandages before i head out-"
"should i question it?" nagisa asked, peeking upwards as karma slipped past him.
"probably not-" he mumbled- tracing his hands along with the stinging pain as he walked into the bedroom. "i'm fine- i just- am fine."
"you're clearly not fine-" nagisa corrected. "it's self harm, karma. you know that? i don't know what goes on in that brain anymore but- that doesn't mean it changes my worry. it's-"
the red head grasped a shirt, "look- from now on just- don't question anything okay?" he sighed, throwing the piece clothing onto his body.
one day he would have to tell nagisa about the drug- just not now. not yet.
YOU ARE READING
everyone i loved died
Fanfiction"... that's right, you never went to their funeral.. did you? after all, you were so caught up with getting stopping their murderers, and people alike. you've sacrificed everything to become an assassin you know..." karma turned, whispering to himse...
