His Doubtful Promises

Chapter 16

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Two years. Two years passed and nothing changed, nothing developed and nothing enhanced. We stayed where we were two years ago, we still kept moving in the same slow pace as before, and we never discussed about what we truly are for each other... we never labeled our relationship. It felt like we are just two souls with feelings for each other.

Honestly, I might like the thought and idea of finally putting a label on 'us' but it will never be easy. Even this, we had to fight for and defend, what more if we knew what we are for each other. We battled every obstacle that waited for us and we succeeded anyway, we kept going but it felt like everything was pointless. It was pointless because in the end, I would still have to wonder—What are we? What are we even fighting for?

Within the two years of continuing whatever this is that's between me and him, it was hard as solid rock. I had to go against my own family just to prove how worthy he is, that he's unlike the man they think he is. It wasn't healthy for my mental health; To always think about them and their reactions every time I bring Nycho home with me.

Everyday was a difficult battle and it was not just a battle, it was a choice. I had all the chances to leave, turn my back and walk away but I didn't, instead, I chose to stay with him because I was the only one believing in him and believing in his pure intentions. It was hard trying to show people who he truly is and not just the version of Nycho that they have made in their heads.

In the two years of those challenges, he didn't leave me battling them alone, he stayed beside me. After that night, when he found out about the truth, he never went back to Siargao. He chose to stay here and lived every day of the two years, trying to forgive and fix his relationship problems with his mother. Something that I also needed to do.

Mom, she was very disappointed and I would not blame her because even I would feel bad and hurt if my child would disobey me for someone else... but it was love. It was love and it was something I could never stop and I could never control either, I couldn't bear it if I just let go... I wanted to be with him, I was ready to risk anything just to have my chaos and my serenity. Just to have him.

I was a huge fool for love, I made a fool out of myself and I let the beautiful and sweet words deceive me. It made me think that something as wonderful as love could never hurt someone, and that I believed in all of his promises no matter how doubtful they were. I became a fool for him, I became a fool for his love.

"We're getting there, I promise."

"You'll always be the serenity of my chaos, I promise."

"I'll be with you until you grow tired, I promise."

"I love you but give it some time, I promise the right day would come for us."

"Please... wait a little more. That's what I promised you and that is what I'm going to give you."

His promises became the reasons why I chose to hold on, because with that, I also held on to the thought that one day he'll give me everything he promised me. He'll give me the things that he said I deserved, that he wouldn't break any of those because he could never break my heart. It was all a huge show. I was played.

No good change happened within the two years, no good developed in the two years and nothing good enhanced in the two years. If anything did change, it was him and it was a change I didn't prepare myself for. It was a change that would make me hate the promises he made, the promises that once cheered me on that are now the promises I doubt.

The change wasn't as severe as how you would think, but just by looking at him and comparing the way he acts before and now is truly different. He became more distant, cold and somehow... it was like he's trying to put a wall between our connection, the connection we always feel before every time we see each other.