You fixed my broken heart

The night I thought about it

Me and Waverly had a good night and day so I wasn't quite sure why I was feeling this way. Why I wanted to hurt myself so bad

I couldn't sleep so I got up and went for a walk. I didn't mean to end up at the bridge just happened. I still had some pills left from the last time I bought them

It was quick, me taking them, they was easy to swallow it had to be the easiest way to do it when your high because you can't re-think it right?

I sat on the edge of the bridge just to see how it would feel. The feeling of dying, if it would be easy or if I would have to be quick with it, if I was to drown would I hear the cars going by, if the water was to just take me away would my body let it, if I couldn't breath would I panic or would I just let it happen

All these questions running around my head I needed to know the answers so.. some of them so I walked to the bottom on the bridge I wasn't going to kill myself not now anyways, I just needed to know if this is what I wanted

I took my coat off and put my phone on silent. I didn't get naked I just walked into the frozen water to see if it would put my body in shock and it didn't but my adrenaline was like the most powerful drug I had ever taken, I almost didn't want the feeling to go away. I was going to lay down but my phone rang

Did I want to answer it? What if it was dad? What if it was Waverly or Wynonna?

I didn't answer it, I did lay down and let the water take me, I went under but only for a second I swear to see if my body would panic and surprisingly it didn't I was fine. I felt different, happy? I hadn't felt it in a long time, like the world around me was silent for a second, like I could feel inner peace with myself, I was listening to my feelings finally

Maybe I did have to go now? This was how my life was supposed to end, there was cars I could hear them but there was one I swear it's music, no one had it but one person the only person I thought I would never see again

I ran to the top again to see her, her eyes where hurt but her.. she was the same as I remember. The love of my life was really back but was it what I wanted

"Who called you? How did you know I was here" I couldn't quite believe she was here how did she even get here I mean she didn't have money well not the last time I checked

"Your dad said he was okay with you now and Will was dead. He said you was falling apart. Nicky are you okay, I missed you" she came in for a kiss and I didn't move, why didn't I move

Her lips were as soft as I remember, her body fit in mine so well, her sent was connected to mine so fast it was like this was always supposed to happen

"I missed you to baby" she felt my back and moved back to see I was wet very wet "did you just try kill yourself. AGAIN NICOLE" she shouted but it didn't scare me I just shook my head I took my shirt off showing her my abs well I mean

"I didn't try kill myself just went for a swim" she kissed me again. I felt home but not like when I was Waverly. SHIT WAVERLY

I pushed her off me but then instantly forgot why "are you okay.. why did you do that" I didn't answer her just kissed her again we went to her car and just spoke

"It's been 3 years Nicky how are you, hows life" I was still very high so it took me longer to answer then I thought

"WAVERLY. THATS WHY I PUSHED YOU BECAUSE OF WAVES" I jumped hitting my head on the roof of the car "Nicole calm down who's Waverly" I looked at her with pure broken eyes I felt tears running down my face

"She's not you" I jumped out her car and went to run but she stopped me

"Who is it Nicole" she had my arm so I couldn't leave

"She isn't you Shae"