Don't blink, Claude.

Chapter 6: And when she walks, All the wind blows and the angels sing.

 

 

Claude’s P.O.V

 

I’ve been sat in this small room at my aunts house, everything was plain and boring, it did help my thinking a lot. I thought about everything that has happened to me so far. It seems that all the main events that have happened seemingly occur because of Maybe, not that I blame the poor girl but they all relate to her. I really feel like I’m the reason we have been drifting apart. I doubt she even noticed that I haven’t been in school for two weeks. I’d be more certain of that had I not lost my phone, and had my aunt decided not to live like she was Amish and get some internet. I don’t regret coming here, its really a great place away from everything and everyone and just think. I’ve thought about practically everything, especially Maybe. I’ve also thought about Deena, yes she cheated on me but it still wasn’t fair of me to date her out of insecurity, out of the whole awareness that I’m not good for anyone, I’m not enough for Maybe.

 

My thoughts all lead back to Maybe, the first time I met her, the first concert we went too, all the things we’ve done. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe, damn you Maybelline, you’re the reason I wake up every Moring and now that you’re not here I wonder why I even try.

I do simple acts like put my arms around her or look her in the eye, complement her, take part in the things she loves,  to her they may just be an act of bestfriend-ism but to me it meant something. my body carries an electric flow each and every time our skins touched, it felt so refreshing and that’s why I tried to make contact with her as often as I could. I didn’t waste any opportunity. I just which she could feel that flow of energy the same why I do, maybe then she’d want me, even if its just a little. I just want her next to me on that bad, now for most teenagers they jump on that opportunity to preform anything sexual, and although I am a male and I do get horny, its not like that with Maybe, I just want her next to me so I can hold her, and finally tell her how I feel. I love her, why can’t she see that? Austin can love her as much as he wants but it’ll never come close to how much I love her and how much she means to me. I sometimes even doubt weather she knew how amazing she truly is, how breathtaking she is, how she makes Angles sing at the sight of her. She’s got the whole package, at least the package I’d order. I hope she realizes that. We never have to settle for less then we deserve, I learned that mistake and I hope she comes to realize that what we both deserve is each other.

 

I was thankful my aunt at least had a radio, or else I might have just killed myself from all the thinking, I never thought until now that overthinking has a possibility of ending in an overdoes. I turned the radio on and tried to shift my focus onto the lyrics of the song that was playing

 

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

 

Out of nowhere I started to cry. The tears where uncontrollable and way to much for someone who wasn’t used to crying. I only cried once before, when my father, my hero, my protector cheated on my mother. It really hurt and some how this comes super close, having her not be with me comes fucking close. Song on the radio really made me feel like someone was hugging me, someone was here with me telling me they know how I feel. I’ve listened to countless of songs and I loved a lot of them but never in so long has a song made me feel this way.

 

“Lauren!” I called out to my aunt, but nothing. “Lauren!” I called once more and she came running into the room, “what is it boy? You almost scared me” she said breathless. “can I text someone from your phone?” I wanted her phone so I can text Maybe because I was almost certain if I called from the house phone no one would pick up because its an unknown number. “you know where the house phone is, boy don’t be lazy” she said annoyed, its really getting to her how different we are, she isn’t pleased that my parents spoiled me, by spoiling me I mean that my mom lets us own a TV and a cellphone and a computer, simple modern technology. “yeah I want a cellphone, like a mobile phone because I lost mine on the train ride here. I want to use yours to message a friend quickly, promise it won’t take to long” I said hopeful that she'd lend me hers, i had Maybe's number memorized, “do I look like I own a cellphone?” she murmured and left the room, with that I continued to imagine things that are never going to take place, like me and Maybe dating for Instance or going to prom together.