Forbidden: Her Interdit Love ||Completed|| ||Book One||

Chapter Six

Anette

This entire situation was all too familiar to me, the waiting and the fear of not knowing if the other person was alright, but this time I felt it more intense than the last time. I've been passing the halls back and forth, the nurses gives me pities look. I hate when those looks are directed at me. It must be past two in the morning, I was unaware of the hour. I had been here so long it was hard to tell and when I looked back through the hours they blended into each other. Walking through the white washed corridors looking for a place to sit, I noticed few people about. Just a couple of nurses, hair tied back with eyes bloodshot from tiredness and troublesome patients. I was to emotional to be tired but I probably looked worse than them appearance wise. Maybe it was this place which made it worse. But I hate it, being around so many people who were solemn and sad. It makes me depressed.

I turned a corner following a sign which read 'parking lot' Due to the fact that I was looking up I nearly ran into an elderly man supported by a silver cane. I said my apologies and moved on. When I looked back down the corridor I noticed he was still in the same place I had left him, just standing there perfectly placed on the green line running down the left side of the hallway floor. He had probably forgotten where he was headed after our brief encounter. I had never understood that line system hospitals use. Those colors they used flowed down the corridor. I guess they led lost visitors or patients to there desired destination. Why they could not use the directions posted on signs on the walls was beyond me.

The hospital is a depressing place hence all people walk around it just looking at the floor. Me, I ignored them. I liked to get lost and wonder aimlessly around this place. It gave me time to think and reflect on the events that had happened over the course of today.

Another sign told me to turn right. I complied and turned right into a carpeted corridor. An exit at last I thought to myself. The double doors swung open and fresh air hit me like a bullet. I even stopped mid-step and let it fill my lungs before I went to sit down on the concrete.

Outside, now it was dark, looked completely different. It was an isolated car park surrounded by different departments of the hospital and one entrance was adjacent to me. The lot was empty of cars and the only light came from the entrance behind me and the street lamps illuminating the white paint and untrimmed hedge rows designed to keep automobiles in perfect unison. I walked out a way into the cold night and found a coffee machine.

I was feeling out of place. I was thinking slower, moving slower and speaking slower. That's how I feel anyway. I went into a long train of thought at that moment not noticing the a taxi drive away.

I thought about how doctors must get through there day. Having to watch families torn apart by disease and dealing with death on a daily basis, even in this mad new world, would get to the strongest person. They must see the people they treat as objects, machinery even, that need fixing trying there hardest not to form an emotional bond with there patient in case the worst should happen. Maybe that's why the professor broke down. I could make a lots of theory but I would never found out. I admire my father and brother. Having to deal with this kind of situation on a daily basic was a hard task. I was proud of them.

Then for some reason I thought about the thing I been through today. About why I was here at the hospital and why I was staying around for the doctor to tell me what I already knew was going to happen to him.

¿What the bloody hell is wrong with me? Am I that shallow that I can only care about was what in front of me? No, that's not right; all I have thought about all week is this man, there must be another reason behind it. I was incredibly tired; I hadn't slept for at least a days, which combined with the amount of caffeine I had consumed on an empty stomach, who could say my mind was in a logical place. When I left him he was in a pretty bad way, maybe I had made up my mind when I left him room that he wasn't going to pull through and I was blocking it out subconsciously. I knew I did that often when it came to high emotional situations. I would just force it out of my conscious thought, refuse to think about it and pretend like it never happened. However eventually it would catch up to me and the grieving, depression and loss of self motivation would kick in.