Mistaken Consequences

Chapter 41: Mid-October

Hamish rolled over as Lily stirred, but Vera was already sitting up. "I'll get her," she said, and Hamish allowed himself to sink back into the mattress. Unlike normal, he didn't watch them, although he did hear Vera's quiet murmuring as she left the room with Lily.

He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to face yet another occurrence of Vera pushing him away, pushing him out of Lily's life. It had started at the beginning of the month – Vera was shorter-tempered than normal. She'd stopped being playful, luring him in with that teasing smile and a sway in her walk that promised more, if only he'd follow. They'd nearly been caught by Kepler once; the Knights had been watching Lily in the antechamber, and Kepler had assumed what was happening in the reliquary was strictly business. He desperately wanted to see the grin she'd worn that day again.

He'd been patient with her. While he'd thought they'd gotten past the negative emotions of last year, this was the first time they had to face the memory of that night, when he'd walked away from her and robbed her only an hour later. He wasn't going to fault her for needing some space to process what he knew had been a difficult time in her life.

He tried not to push her, or force her to move past it, but he did what he could to remind her of where they were now. He went out of his way to spoil her. He prepared all her favorite foods. Their home was filled with flowers. He encouraged long, relaxing bubble baths after Lily went to sleep and was always ready to finish them up with a massage.

He'd assumed that once the date passed, the memory and those emotions would fade. But it had been going on for over two weeks now. It was now over a week since that day a year ago, and Vera had only grown more distant. And even worse, she'd begun keeping Lily from him as well.

He didn't get to hold his daughter anymore and had resorted to waking up in the middle of the night, just to steal a few precious minutes with his baby girl while Vera slept. Vera had stopped letting him give her a bottle, choosing only to breastfeed, even though it meant waking up for every feeding during the night. Even at the Temple, she now kept Lily with her at all times, as if afraid he'd have a chance to take her if she asked someone else to watch her for an hour or two.

He didn't know what else he was supposed to do. As much as it hurt, he knew he'd need to broach the subject with her. They couldn't keep on as they were. His heart couldn't take it.

He lay awake until he heard Vera come back into the room. He lay still as he heard her lay Lily down in her bassinet, humming softly. He held his breath as Vera crawled back into bed, but like always, she came to him, tucking herself in against his side once more. Her arm moved to drape across his chest as she snuggled closer, positioning her head to where she was comfortable on his shoulder while also hooking a leg over his.

This...this was why he'd been patient, why he had waited, hoping she would work through her issues if he just kept reminding her that he was here, that he wanted her. Whatever she was feeling, she still reached for him each night. Not sex – he hadn't pushed her for that, and she hadn't initiated anything – but in the dark of night, she was still his.

If he pushed her, he didn't know if that would still be true.

He didn't muster the courage until after dinner. He'd gone all out, in an attempt to impress her. Spinach and pomegranate salad. Tender filet mignon, cooked to perfection. Fresh scallops that he'd spent all week trying to source, in a champagne butter sauce. Roasted vegetables. Mashed potatoes with shallots. Molten chocolate cakes for dessert.

She had spent the day at the Temple and he'd come home early to prepare, leaving Lilith and Jack to watch over her and Lily. She'd clearly been overwhelmed when she'd walked in the door and found the table outfitted with a white table cloth and flickering candles, salads on the table and their main course nearly complete. It had even managed to draw a small, perplexed smile from her – the first he'd seen in weeks.