Mistaken Consequences

Chapter 9: Twenty weeks

Vera stood by the altar, listening as Hamish ran through the required preparations for the day's ritual. She often put medicums and magistrati in charge of preparing, but she almost never allowed a first-year to lead. Hamish Duke was beginning to surprise her, however.

Of the three Knights, he was the only one that really applied himself to his studies and it was showing. She'd always known that drive and passion for knowledge was in him, it was what had drawn her to him in the first place, and it seemed the more he learned, the more he wanted to learn. So she'd allowed Selena to teach him.

She knew it was a risk. He'd already played her for a fool before and if the Knights still chose to leave, then she was training her enemy, but Vera also knew she'd never convince them to stay if she didn't allow them to see the benefits of the Order. She couldn't hold them back for fear they would turn on her. One didn't earn the loyalty of a dog by being afraid of it. So she'd promoted him.

Hamish recited the steps perfectly, as she'd expected, and she nodded. "Miss Durov will supervise you this time," she said as a reminder. "Speak up if you have a question about something and don't be afraid to demand the other disciples listen to you, but since you're not new to leadership roles, I don't expect much of a problem. Do you have any questions?"

Hamish shook his head. "No, Magus. It's all fairly straightforward."

"I'll be back-"

"Vera!" Bitsy loudly interrupted, barging into the chamber. "You are the only woman I know who'd be late for an appointment to see your baby for the first time."

Vera squeezed her eyes shut. She was standing close enough she could make out Hamish's quiet intake of breath. They'd been doing so good. In the weeks since her pregnancy had become public knowledge, he'd stopped reacting so violently to the slightest mention of her pregnancy. She wouldn't say he seemed comfortable with it, but he didn't look ready to be sick either. He didn't avoid her and, in return, she did her best to make the pregnancy as unnoticeable as possible. She couldn't do much about her expanding waistline, but she did her best to avoid bringing unnecessary attention to it. She watched her hand placement when he was near and, if feasible, she stood or sat where he didn't have to look directly at it. It would be easier once the baby was born and the evidence of their misguided tryst was no longer impossible to avoid.

She spared a quick glance up at Hamish and found him standing somewhat stiffly, but he gave her a small, strained smile. She turned to Kepler. "Thank you for announcing that to the whole Temple. I do like to keep some parts of my life private," she said sarcastically. "And I'm not late. Getting there early just means a longer wait. I might as well do something productive for a few more minutes."

"I've got this, Magus," Hamish said quietly.

Bitsy shot her a smug grin.

Vera glared. "Fine," she relented sourly. "Let me get my purse."

When Vera passed by the altar room a few minutes later, Hamish was no longer there.

Vera sat on the exam table, watching, unamused, as Bitsy made comments about the various diagrams and models that decorated the small room.

"This does not look possible," Bitsy said as she eyed a 3D model of a fetus inside the womb and the pelvis it was meant to pass through.

"It's possible," Vera said flatly. That was one part of her first pregnancy she somehow remembered both in excruciating detail and not at all. She remembered the hours of pain. She remembered sobbing as her mom held her hand and rubbed her back and murmured words of encouragement in her ear. She remembered pleading with the doctor that she couldn't do it as she was told to push, over and over and over again. But she somehow had done it, because she also remembered her daughter's first cries. She remembered having the squalling newborn placed onto her chest and crying just as hard as she tried to memorize her baby's face through her tears, and that part somehow deadened the memories of the hours it had taken to get her there.