Ecstasy (Y/N x Maddy Perez)

VII: Apologies

Y/N

    "Don't you want to sit down?" Cassie asked me with puffy eyes and a horse voice. She looked so tired and broken. I've never seen Cassie without a smile, and it's kind of sad to see her without one. 

    I nodded my head as I sat down on one of the chairs near Cassie's bed. "I was kind of hoping you'd sit here." The blonde said as she patted the space next to her. 

    Don't be an asshole, Y/N.So I stood up and awkwardly dusted my jeans before I went to sit next to Cassie on her bed. She immediately took my hand in hers and held it. It was almost as if she was anchoring me, afraid that I'd slip away from her grasp.

    I don't know what Cassie is so fearful of. I was the wrong one. I shouldn't have raised my voice at her, no matter how shitty the situation was. I'm sure it was just an accident. Accidents happen all the time. 

    "Listen, Cas. I'm really sorry about what I did at that party. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm sure it was just a spill-of-the-moment type of thing. I'll do better. I'm really sorry." I pleaded with Cassie as I kissed her hand that was holding mine. 

    Cassie immediately broke down. Tears spilled down her cheeks so rapidly I didn't even know someone could cry so fast. "Cassie, no, no, please don't. Lexi's going to kill me, baby. Calm down."

    "Don't fucking tell me to calm down, Y/N! And stop being so fucking nice! I'm like fucking pregnant." Holy fuck. Oh, my God. Could I be a parent? What, how was that. What! "Cassie, when did you find out you were?"

    Confusion shown through Cassie's eyes. "I don't. I don't know exactly. All I know is that. Fuck. I can't do this."  My heart clenched as I listened to Cassie say those words. 

    "What are you saying, Cas?" I felt myself get close off by each second that passed. 

    "It's. It's, it's Mckay's." I felt the world stop. Disappointment gripped my heart as I tried to process her words. The fear that I once felt earlier shivered down and was now replaced with utter disappointment. I know I don't want a kid, but this kind of hurts. A lot.

    "Okay." I whimpered out. Not really sure what else to say or do. The circles Cassie rubbed on my hand were now beginning to irritate me. Her room felt smaller all so suddenly. I can't be here anymore. I have to get out of here. 

    I quickly stood up, and Cassie mimicked my actions when I did. "No, Cassie. I can't. Just give me time or something. I can't be here right now. I feel weird. I feel so fucking bad, Cas. Let me go."

    "Just say you'll think about it. Please, baby? I'm your baby, right. We could still be happy. I mean, I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do yet, but still."

    I placed a hand on Cassie's chest, softly pushing her away. "Cassie, I can't. This hurts a lot, too much, man. Fuck this. I didn't sign up for this shit."

    Cassie wouldn't give up, though. She took my hand that I laid on her chest and held it. I shook my head. I quickly tried to walk out, but Cassie ran to the door. "You can't leave." She pleaded with me, softly banging my chest.

    I couldn't take it anymore. I fucking exploded. "Fuck, Cassie. What the fuck was all this for? All those fucking times you went to a 'party' alone, and you didn't need a ride. Were you with him? That fucking perfume I smelled on you, was that him? 'Cause I know for a fact you don't like wearing the heavy smelling ones."

    Cassie was crying even harder now. She fell to the ground, just howling. I just stared at the door, not moving or doing anything. I just felt the need to let everything out. I've been holding on to everything for way too long. 

    One thing did eat at me. The night of the party when she held me down when I came. She wouldn't stoop that low. 

    I held Cassie back up, forcing her to look at me. Her pretty blue eyes were now a cloudy grey as tears filled them. "Cassie, that night when we fucked in the bathroom. When you wanted me to show you what 'love' felt like, was that all a ploy so you could play the baby as mine when the time came? Huh?" I shook Cassie as I silently begged that wasn't the case. 

    "Fucking answer me, Cassie!" Just as Cassie was about to open her mouth. The door opened, making me and Cassie fall. 

    "I fucking told you, Lopez! One fucking tear. You're dead! Out! Fuck you!" Lexi screamed as she tried to become a barrier to Cassie and me.

    Me and Lexi went to scream at each other. I couldn't leave without knowing the answer to that damn question. 

    Cassie suddenly screamed out, surprising Lexi and me in the process. "I didn't fucking do it to cover shit up, Y/N. I just didn't want another Cassie Howard walking around. One that could potentially be worse than me." Me and Lexi both looked at each other and then at Cassie. 

    "My dad was a fucking asshole, and to be honest, so is Mckay. It's just. I thought that if were you that fathered this kid, maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't turn out like me. Because you... you're fucking great. You never fucking hurt me, not on purpose, at least." Cassie finally cracked a smile as she finally looked at me. 

    "But I know now that stringing you along would just fuck shit up. And you don't deserve that, and even Mckay doesn't. Just know that I did wish it was you. I love you, but I don't love you like that. I just need you to know it was never your fault. I guess I just got crazy earlier when I begged you to stay. I think I just wanted to make you understand. I hope we can still be friends, Y/N." Cassie said as she walked towards me. She slowly leaned in and cupped my cheeks. I closed my eyes as I waited for her soft lips to land on mine. 

    Her lips tasted salty as her tears spilled down her cheeks. I backed away from the blonde a bit and stared at her stormy eyes. I used my thumb to wipe the tears that escaped her eyes. I laid my forehead on hers as I breathed out. "I'll always be here for you, Cas. I love you too, but yeah, not in that way." 

    I fully backed away from Cassie as I took her hand and kissed it for the very last time as I walked to the door of the room. "I'm finally leaving now, Lex. No need to get into a fit for it." Lexi smiled as both sisters watched me leave. I gave Suze a wave as I walked out of their house. 

    Even though that was extremely emotional and honestly so tiring, I kind of feel lighter in a way. I think a part of me always knew that Cassie and me weren't the ones for each other. It could have ended in a better way, but I'm just glad we don't hate each other. Maddy, on the other hand, though, is another story. And after what she said, I'm not sure I want to relive it. Or do I?

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A/N

Ugh, yeah, of course, you do! This is a story about Maddy, of course. Awns, I finished these chapters hella early today. And also, Ily bbys for the support. I really enjoy engaging with you y'all. Finally, szn Cassie is done. Make way for Maddy. 

Alright, that's it! Bye, whores!! <3