Depression

It all started with a click

My whole life I've been a goody-two-shoes. One day my friends told me about this website, I won't say the name, where you can either type chat or webcam chat. Like chat roulette. I decided to try it, I never went on the webcam at first. But after about a month of doing message, I decided to try it.

Click.

The start of my depression.

The first person I had was a girl. We became friends, we even met up once or twice; but we lost contact after a month. I met a boy next, he said he was 17, he looked 19. We added each other on Facebook. We chatted for months, he said to me one day, "can you show me your breasts?" I didn't know what to say, I thought I trusted this boy. So I showed him. I didn't know it at the time but he took a screen shot. He then posted it everywhere on Facebook. I spoke to him and I said "take it down, NOW!!"

He refused. I didn't want to force him to in case he did anything else, he deleted his current account and made a page. I was everywhere. Names started rolling in, even from people who didn't know me, even from my the girl who was my best friend. Slut. Skank. Whore.

I was bullied at school from then on. I remember some days better than others because most of the time I zoned out.

One day I got up, I checked my phone for messages, daily habit, I didn't go on Facebook, I deleted my account, and I got ready for school. When I was going out the door for the bus I had a phone call. It was him. I hadn't given him my number though. He said "I like the way you did you hair today." I froze in the middle of the street and started to look around, how did he know I was here?

"Excuse me?" Was all I said.

"The bus is nearly hear. Your going to be late if you don't start walking!" His voice was muffled, I started walking. "The wind is blowing your skirt up, you better pull it down before someone sees you and says your flashing... Again." I slammed the hang up button and turned my phone off. I had changed my number since all this started, how did he get this number? I pulled my skirt down and ran to the bus. When I got there their were girls laughing, boys eyeing me up and down. "Hey, you want a quicky in the bushes before the bus comes?" Some boy shouted out, I glared at him and turned around. I swear I hadn't said a word to anyone in weeks. The girls laughed at his remarks, one of them said "don't worry, Daniel, she only goes for the guys she doesn't know!" They all laughed again. That was who is was now, Hannah- the girl who flashed strangers. Couldn't people accept that I had made a mistake? The bus finally arrived and I sat in my usual space. In the front on my own in that chair that the small kids always want and they end up sitting on each others laps.

Half way to school a load of kids came on, on of them shouted "whoop, whoop, Skank alert! Skank alert!!" Everyone on the bus laughed. After another painful 15 minutes of being cheered at and paper being thrown at me we finally got to school.we had assembly that day so I went straight to the hall. Everyone was in there place. I went to mine. Back row of my forms allocated seats, with about enough room for three or so people either side of me. An outsider. Principle Bren went on for twenty minutes about road safety until the bell finally rang. Everyone ran out the hall, including me. First lesson, maths. Great. I was meant to sit next to Ashley barns. She used to be my best friend a year back, now she hated me.

"Well, well if it isn't little miss slut." She said as she sat two seat away form she was meant to sit, "met any new strangers lately to flash, who am I kidding? You don't meet them do you, you just go in cam and start with you boobs out.!" The smirked at the girl next to her.i stormed out the room. I'd bunked enough classes lately that I didn't even now what was going on, they certainly wouldn't miss me. I went to the back of the building, and turned round the corner to the out of bounds part where I ate my lunch.

I sat down, feeling crippled. I cried for about fifteen minutes when my phone rang it was a withheld number. I don't know why I answered it, but I did, it was him again. His voice was coarser than last time, "don't stay there too long, you will miss the information you need for you exams. The grounds dirty too, you will get your uniform wet."

I gasped.

He followed me not the school site? How did he know what I was doing in school. He probably guess from my age. That comforted me a little. But not enough to get any words past my mouth. All I did was slam the button again, throw my phone of the floor, stood up, stamped on it and threw it into the trees and bushes past the fence. "No more phone" I said to my self. I wasn't gong to let this get go me.

Too late, it already did.

I returned to class but did no work. I got threw the rest of the day. Just. I didn't eat that day, I'd didn't eat a lot. People still laughed and threw stuff at me. I couldn't help but think of what he said. 'The wind is blowing up your skirt' and 'your uniform will get wet.'

I felt like he has touched me, inside and out, but not in the good way.

When I got home after another long bus ride my mum said to me "are you ok, Hannah, you look really pale?" I looked in the mirror and she was right, I was pale. All of a sudden I felt really faint.

My mother caught me as I fell to the floor. She picked me up and put me on the sofa and called an ambulance. I blacked out for about... I don't know how LNG, but when I woke up I was in the hospital. White lights above me. Voices around me.

"Hannah? Hannah? Hannah can you hear me?" All I did was nod. I didn't have the energy to say anything else.

I was in the hospital for three days, turns out I'm anemic and anorexic. I didn't care. I didn't want it live in a world where even younger kids bully me.

I wanted to die.