Depression

Little Feather of Mine; don't fly away from me.

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep.

The beep of the life support machine woke me up. I opened my eyes a crack. My mum and dad were talking to a nurse, nodding along. What day was it? What time was it? Is this me just dead and am i thinking that i am alive? I hoped i was.

I felt terrible though, if you were dead you couldn't feel pain... could you? I didn't think so. I felt as though i was going to throw up at any moment. That would be the bleach. My head hurt like hell, and i was shaking all over, the paracetamol. Suddenly, my stomach turned, knotted. i looked to my left and to my right, i found a cardboard bowl and put it to my chin and i threw up. It was obvious i hadn't eaten in days as there was no lumps, it was smooth as silk, acid. 'Ah, sweetie!! Your awake!' My mum came rushing to hold my hair back whilst i was sick, 'when your tired we need to have a talk' I stopped and looked at her, 'Im not tired' I said, she gave me a serious look and all of a sudden i couldn't keep my eyes open.

'Its OK, Hannah, go to sleep' I lay limp back against the hospital bed, it had been propped up for me so that i was flat, mum put her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tight. She started to sing a lullaby she used to sing to me when i was little, 'Little feather of mine, don't fly away from me, I will be here to catch you, i will be here to save you. Little feather of mine, don't float away from me, i will be here to catch you, i will be here to save you. Oh, your too small to leave me, your to light to stay, so i will hold you in my arms, to keep you at bay.' And i fell asleep. 

It night when I woke up, i was still droopy. When i repositioned myself i saw that mum had stayed there, with me. She was in a recliner chair with a spear blanket over her. I was just about to fall asleep when i heard the phone ring, i reached over to answer it, there was a voice... his voice 'You were stupid to take those pills it could have killed you.' He was about to say something else but i slammed the phone down, not too hard because i didn't want to wake mum.

'Right... here;s the thing,' Dad said to me the next morning, he came back tot he hospital and waited until me and mum were fed and ready to talk, 'We have bought a house in Hampshire, we are leaving Kent.' I looked at him in surprise, 'Well you obviously cant stay here anymore!! You beaten, crawled into a ditch and driven to attempted suicide!! Also we are pressing charges against those who did it to you-'

'NO!!' i cut him off, 'I dont want to press charges!!'

'Why on earth not?!' He was getting a little bit impatient.

'Because I want to forget this whole thing, if we press charges it will drag on and on and on and on!!' He thoguht about it for a second and nodded, he could understand my reason, i did want to forget this while thing!! 'But we ARE still moving!' he said in a sturn voice.

Hampshire huh?!

Dad had bought in my laptop for me and i checked out my new school website, it seemed nice enough. Oaklands. The town i was living in was called Waterlooville. It looked OK. I didnt think anything bad could happen here. Exactly the opposite infact! It sounded like a nice place. And most of all; new town, new me, new life!