"We can still run, sweetheart."
I glared at my father who's standing beside me.
Today is the day that I've been dreaming for decades. I am now holding my father's arm in front of the church and we are waiting for the door to open. Obviously, that will be our cue to start the bridal march.
"Dad, stop it."
I pouted. He's been teasing me with those kinds of silly words ever since I wore my wearing wedding gown earlier. I just laughed and teased him back, but I can't seem to do that now. I'm becoming emotional as the clock continuously ticking.
He doesn't want to send me off, I know... I know because I saw him last night.
He's inside his room and he's looking at mom's picture. I just wanted to close the door for him because he left it open, but I noticed his shoulders shaking.
He's crying. My heart aches because of his states and when I was about to ask him what's wrong, he spoke.
"Our d-daughter – m-my p-princess," his voice broke.
For some reason, tears began to cross my cheeks. I feel like someone is strangling my heart and it's aching so much.
"S-she grew up into a fine w-woman. I can't b-believe that she'll be someone's wife tomorrow," he sobbed.
I clenched my fist on my chest because it's such a tear-jerking sight. Why is he crying? I'm marrying a good man and it's definitely something to celebrate and not to cry with!
Never in my life I saw him cry. Even when my mother passed away, he looked devastated and depressed but he never shed a tear.
But why is he crying right now?
I watched him more. I saw how his fingers traced the features of my mom's face in the photo. I smiled bitterly as I let my eyes roamed at her image, too.
My mother is beautiful. She has this Spanish feature which making her look more classic and elegant. I wiped my tears. It's a pity that we only have a few memories to cherish. It's a pity that I lost her too early.
"W-we lost so many times together, Tammara. I l-lost her because of my foolish desires. I still h-have to make it up. I still need to a-ask for her f-forgiveness. I've only started to earn her affection again – I 've just started earning her trust, but why do I feel like I'm g-going to l-lose her again?"
I covered my mouth to suppress my sob. My father loves me so much... I know he always does. But I didn't know how my distance affects him – I didn't know that it affects him this much. Suddenly, memories of my rude and cold behavior towards him flashes back to my mind. Thousands of knives stab my heart when his pained expression also appears. They are so vivid that I wanted to hate myself for hurting my father.
"E-Ethan... I k-know that boy. He's a good man. I know he'll take care of our Tatiana."
I stepped away back from the door. I feel cold, my whole body is shaking. I can feel my knees getting weaker. So, I ran... I ran because I might break down. But before I could even get away, I heard what he said.
"My princess chose the right man. Your daughter is wise, Tammara. She'll never choose a man who'll only hurt her. I'm very proud."
I slammed the door loudly and locked myself inside the room. I sat at the edge of my bed, hugged my knees, then buried my face on them. And there, I cried my heart out.
I took a deep breath and looked away when my eyes start to water again. It won't be obvious because of my veil, but I don't want to cause him more concern. Another thing is, I already woke up with swollen eyes earlier and that's enough. It is such a blessing that make up can do wonders to hide it, so, I should not do anything that will wear off that mask.
